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Do you think its ok if me and my dh dont sleep in the same bed?

Its working I guess but I do miss having him. There are many reasons we dont.We have 2 dogs that inisist on being in bed and I hate it b/c it makes me hot, so I always end up leaving in the middle of the night, my dh wont turn off the tv and I cant go to sleep with it on so I just sleep up in the spare room, and my dh has to sleep with like5 pillows all around him so that adds to me being so hot I cant sleep and cant get near him and I go to bed a lot earlier than him so when he comes in to go to bed he has to turn on the tv and all this crap and its just noisy and wakes me up so I have stopped even trying. I miss it but I cant stand it...there doesnt seem to bea compromise on his part and I am not divorcing over something so I guess its the way things will be. How would you handle this situation?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • You do what works for you and your hubby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I would talk to my hubby. I think it could potentially lead to other issues.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • The dogs don't pay rent or utilities or for food. Get their communist butts out of your bed.

    That would be horrible for my marriage. Getting in bed together in peace and quiet is something we both really look forward to every night. Sleeping apart would interfere with our sex life, which is very important to both of us. I would not be able to do it.

    If you like the arrangement, which I think you might not since you are asking about it, then do what is best for you. If you don't like it, you need to have a serious talk with your partner.

    Answer by ecodani at 10:27 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Get a king size bed!?!? We have one - I also like my space, but also like the closeness - it's wonderful! We can still snuggle and do other stuff ;) before bedtime and once we fall asleep we have our own space!

    Answer by mamie2shoes at 10:29 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • My husband leaves the fan on all night even the air condition in snow storm. The tv has to be on and computer on his chest or next to him. He's chosen. I've chosen. Our lives go on. Maybe you're just not compatible to sleep together but compatible in other mutiple ways. If that's the worst of him yet in a different room early morning late night you can still have intimacy and out of bedrooms are good partners then it's just personality to sleep. If on top of what you describe you and he don't get along in hardly anything that's something to seriously consider counseling for.


    Answer by lfl at 10:30 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Why do you need to sleep with your dogs!?!? Get them their own freaking bed! I think it's disgusting that people would rather sleep with their dogs than their own husband!!!! Talk to your hubby about the pillows and the TV...I'm sure you can come up with some kind of compromise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • just because you leave to sleep in another room to get your sleep doesnt mean you have problems. cuddle up and have sex and then when you start feeling hot go to the other room. We have sleep issues too. I always want to cuddle and my dh is always too hot. We are considering getting another bed for the spare room so when he gets moody and hot he can go in there

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:31 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • It would not be okay for my marriage, but it may be okay for yours. My husband wants me in the bed with him and has for the past 45 years. He is very sensitive to my presence there and will usually wake up if I get up for any reason. And I don't sleep well anywhere else either. Maybe we are just accustomed to the closeness, but we like it and I don't think that will change at this late date.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:35 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • call the dog whisperer or Victoria- England's dog whisperer!

    Answer by lfl at 10:53 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • He sounds selvish, I would put those dogs out. Cut off sex , see how that works.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

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