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Why does this bother me?

I just got out of a bad relationship that lasted a lot longer than it should have. I was totally in love with this man and to be honest, he wasn't very good to me. I didn't know what it was going to take for me to get over him, but the worse he treated me the easier it got for me to let go. When he told me (after 8 months of dating) that we didn't have a future together it hurt, but I accepted it. We actually did get back together after that but it's over now. The only problem is this....I can't stand the thoughts of him being with someone else. I don't want to be with him, but the thought of him with someone else hurts me so bad. Is that normal or am I just not over him like I thought I was?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • it's normal, but you have to keep telling yourself it will get better and not go back. it will get better.
    wahm_abbeyrose

    Answer by wahm_abbeyrose at 11:56 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • You'll get over it. You need to focus on yourself and your new life without him. You are probably holding on to the man you wanted him to be and not the man he actually is.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 11:57 AM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • It's normal. It will pass.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:01 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Normal feelings,

    It took me a year of not seeing him, talking to him or having any contact with him. To finally get over him, and still to this day, I love him, I will always love him, but don't want him and know that everyone woman he meets will be treated the same.

    I honestly feel bad for the woman, and him he will never change, and I can't change him. You need to be strong, you deserve better!!! Stay strong, and remember out of sight out of mind.

    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:02 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Yeah. You NEED to get over it! Seriously...There is no future if BOTH parties are not willing to work at a relationship-it's just unhealthy for your soul! There were others before you, and there will be others after you, and likewise, if it applies, there were others before him and they'll be others after him! Know what I mean? You both deserve to be happy, and try to remember that it was NOT the two of you together. If you have a child, just do your best to make it possible for him to spend time with the child, and you don't even have to be the one to transport if you don't want to. Ask a friend or one of his or your family members, maybe?
    Try getting involved in singles activities at your local church, or volunteer your time at a nursing home, or if your child is school age, see about coming in to help out with class activities! It's about you and your baby now! You are better off without an unhealthy relationship!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I've been there- keep as busy as you can to keep your mind off of it, but don't try and force yourself to get over it, that doesn't work. Take the time you need- sometimes it does take time, but it will happen as long as you do't let yourself get sucked back into something with him.

    good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • when you think that... just remember what a jerk he was to you. invision him treating another woman like that- maybe that will help you to see that you can do better. he will always be himself (who isnt a nice person.) you can do better!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:38 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I think it is the fear that he will treat another woman better - that somehow you caused him to treat you badly. But you know better than that and frankly, he will treat the next woman as bad as he treated you. Not that this is any consolation. It's just the sad truth. You will eventually get over him and only remember him for the awful way he treated you.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:54 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I think it is the fear that he will treat another woman better - that somehow you caused him to treat you badly. But you know better than that and frankly, he will treat the next woman as bad as he treated you. Not that this is any consolation. It's just the sad truth. You will eventually get over him and only remember him for the awful way he treated you.

    _______
    Not that I believe that the following opinion is about the OP-because KathyArtist2007 is right to an extent! I believe that SOME women...NOT ALL...do cause a man to "treat them badly" because they instigate arguments, fights, and are in general really unstable. I do believe some women deserve the treatment that they get. BUT NO WOMAN DESERVES TO BE HIT!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • This is emtional abuse.............
    Type in ABUSE,
    on your TOP RIGHT and find you a group to join.
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 9:56 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

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