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I caught my DH looking at porn!

How would you feel? I went to bed last night, but he said he wasn't tired, and went into the living room. I get up to pee, and there he is in front of the computer, going at it, looking at porn. He says "it's normal", but it really hurt my feelings. Would it bother you if your DH did this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Porn is a sensitive issue and it affects everyone different. Some women don't care if their DH looks at it, some do. I have gone through the porn crap and it is not allowed in our marriage anymore, that's just me. To an extent I think porn really can be just an innocent thing guys do, but the problem ends up being that they want more and more of it. The issue I see in what you have said is not necessarily that he is looking at porn, but that he did not want to go to bed with you and instead stayed up to watch porn. That is insensitive and rude and to me, disrespectful. I told my husband I would not compete with porn for his attention. That worked for a while but then he went back to looking at it. The bad thing with that is he watched pay per view which isn't man/woman porn, it's just porn star women doing themselves and each other. That hurt my feelings really bad and I felt I wasn't attractive enough for him (cont)
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 12:16 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I'd rather he look at porn and jack off than go looking for whores! Paid or unpaid!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I hate it when mine looks at porn too. Don't feel bad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • We are 100% against porn. If it really hurt your feelings then you need to let him know.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:14 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • If I didn't know he was doing it at all, then found out, yes. If I knew about it, then no. Porn is a touchy subject. I don't care that my DH watches it because I watch it to (with or without him), but if he hid the fact from me, yes, I'd be hurt and upset. Sorry that happened. I know the feeling and it sucks.
    GothicMommy3

    Answer by GothicMommy3 at 12:14 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Whoop de doo.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Now THAT was rude, Anon :14...
    Jeanyus

    Answer by Jeanyus at 12:15 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • The only time I care if my husband looks at porn is if I've expressed an interest in having sex, and he turns me down. As far as I'm concerned, if he's "too tired" to have sex, then he should be "too tired" to jack off while looking at porn. But if there's been no sexual interest expressed, or if I specifically said I didn't want sex at the moment, then I don't care if he looks at porn or not. Like a PP said, I'd rather he get his rocks off that way than by seeking out another woman.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 12:16 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • (cont) so when we had it out the very last time about the whole porn thing, I told him well how would you feel if I were looking at younger really hot guys with big cocks?! He said he didn't care, so I said fine, then I need some alone time during the week, you'll have to go find something else to do while I get my rocks off to some hot young stud. Well, yes, that got through to him alright. Threatened his manhood. It was all okay while he was doing it but then to think about his wife getting off to another guy, well, whether it was the right or wrong thing for me to say, it worked. His eyes are on me and me only and that's how a marriage should be. For me anyway. You need to sit down and talk to him about it and how it makes you feel, he won't know if you don't tell him and your feelings are perfectly normal.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 12:18 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • DH and i both like porn ... i wouldnt be suprised. i would tease him about jacking off... and whatever it was that he happened to be watching at the time. dont take it personal, married people are sexual individuals too. you dont cease to be yourself and with your personal needs because you are in a relationship. it doesnt mean there is anything wrong with u or him... it is fine. chill out!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:22 PM on Feb. 4, 2010