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I need advice on a cheating husband.

I just got married in December. My guy and I have been together since high school and just last week I checked his phone and I found text messages from four woman. Two which was from his Exs and Two from these older woman. Now I know he couldn't say to me that they just hit him up because he changed his number!! So when I called him to the room I asked him about the texts and he said he can't give me an answer. I don't know what came over me but I gave him multiple slaps to the face! I asked him if he didn't want to get married or be in a relationship why the f*ck did you get married?? He claims that he loves me and wants to take care of me and our 2 year old daughter so I said I won't stand for this and asked for a divorce. He started to cry and said don't leave we just got married and he grabbed me and wouldn't let go! I know he loves me I really do but he can't even give me an answer to why he's cheating on me.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Definitely get couseling. Even if you talk to someone at a church or something like that. I think that is your best bet to make this work. It sounds like he needs to spend some time thinking things through so he is able to give you some answers and you both need to decide on what sorts of behavior you expect from your spouse- for example I would expect my spouse not to be calling and talking to several ex-girlfriends, and especially not doing so behind my back. A counselor could help you sort thru all of this and be an unbiased third party and sounding board. I am sure a pastor at a church could do it for free if money is an issue. Good luck! If you are both young maybe it is too early to give up, it can take a long time to learn how to be in a good marriage and you have a little one who is worth the effort. But if you can't get what you need and deserve from your husband then be prepared to move on. Good luck!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:52 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • As Dr. Phil would say, " this is about HIM and it has nothing to do with you". He would also say, that it's your choice to stay or go. He needs to deal with himself and the reasons why he has so many women "on the line". Until he deals with that, your marriage won't work. He needs help asap.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 1:28 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Because he doesn't have an answer. Men, especially the younger ones, often do things, without thinking. They just do them. And most of them time, don't even realize they did something wrong OR think they are too smart too be caught. But it is quite possible he truly doesn't know WHY he did it. (it does get better as they grow older though).

    I would give him another chance, only because he seems sorry. But I would make it clear that I will be watching him like a hawk and one little screw up is all it takes for me to be gone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • i would of left. wow he is just dumb, sorry hun.
    bmdred

    Answer by bmdred at 1:32 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • You married a child. Time to grow up, separate from him, and move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I'd divorce him too. If the trust is gone the marriage is over imo. SORRY :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • just married in December? cheating already? DIVORCE
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:36 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • to answer # 2 I agree with you because he is sorry for doing it! That night that I found out he actually called them and all of them knew he was married. One of them like females, his ex has a boyfriend and those two he was talking to both said to me that nothing sexual took place in any way.. the other two he didn't get an answer from... I don't want to leave him because I truly do love him and he said himself that we will make it and till death do us part. So I don't know if we need counseling or what?!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I appreciate all the answers really...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Dr. Phil and Divorce Court are in the works. But the PP is right, this has nothing to do with you....it's all about him, literally.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

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