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8 year daughter with attitude

My 8 year old (turning 9 in May) has recently acquired an attitude problem. She has always been an exceptionally sweet, loving child who is eager to please us and I am just flabbergasted at this change. She is still totally fine with her teachers and other adults, but she's acting like a teenager to me--sullen and nasty, rolling her eyes, stomping around and talking back. I didn't think I'd have to deal with this for a few more years! So, is this behavior normal at this age? How should I respond and deal with it? As of now, I've just been getting upset and telling her that her attitude stinks and sending her to her room. Truthfully, it hurts my feelings--it's like she's forgotten how totally cool I am :)


Asked by vicesix at 4:41 PM on Feb. 4, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 37 (89,885 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • Apple doesn't fall far from the tree :) (I can say that b/c I know you & you know I"m kidding) Anyway, my DD is also 8 and has an attitude to boot, very mouthy, sarcastic and flat out rude, thinks she knows everything. Same thing as your DD, still fine at school etc. I told my DD I was going to contact her teacher and see if she's rude at school too. This embarrassed her to the point of now just a friendly reminder that I will contact her teacher is enough to get her to put her attitude back in check. I agree it is those lovely hormones creeping out and 8 year olds just don't know how to harnass them yet.

    Answer by Kristin21 at 5:30 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Possible TMI-
    if I had to bet, I'd say hormones. I went through the same thing at that age. Sweet where I had to be, but rolling my eyes and mouthing off to my parents. What was going on in my head was that I was tired of having to be so sweet and started saying what I thought.
    Since I started breaking out when I was 9, and started to menstruate when I was 10, I think the truth of it all was that I was having hormone fits.
    She's probably just growing up. :)
    if you haven't had 'the talk' with her, please do- more and more girls are starting at the age of 10 anymore, so please prepare her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • anon: 02- hope I helped :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • are you channeling my house?

    my 8 year old just slapped her sister. GAHHHH!

    Answer by hypermamaz at 5:27 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Mine was the same way, she'll be 21 this April. Hold on tight, the next 10 years are going to be bumpy ones.

    Good luck. If it makes you feel any better, mine calls me now just to chat, a big change when she'd just leave me notes around the house instead of talking to me.

    Answer by daisy521 at 5:46 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • I was going to say hormones, too. The talk is a great idea. She will be embarrassed, but buy her "supplies and Pamprin" just in case and put them in a box to keep in her closet to be ready when the time comes. You are the coolest mom and she will remember that some day. :)

    Answer by cafeclubmom at 6:13 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Dunno, my sweet little girl went to bed her last night as a 4 year old and woke the next morning a teenage-hellion-in-training. But now that she's at the typical teen rebellious years, she's calmed down a ton....and would likely stay that way if satan and his double-standards would drop dead or grow up or something. But both of mine used to tell me they "used up" all their good behavior at school. Use what we told Jenn the other week, C...start docking fun things she wants to do with the reminder that those are for big girls who can at least use very basic civility and manners. I imagine the the first couple times she sees her sister who CAN still behave do things she's had revoked, she'll cool her jets some at least.

    Oh yeah, and that whole apple...tree thing. :O)

    Answer by roachiesmom at 6:20 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • No, we do not think you are sullen. We were joking about the attitude thing, but not saying it was the same as her fits, though. Your online personality is perfectly fine, don't you dare change a thing.

    Answer by roachiesmom at 7:22 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • Sorry on that! By chance is there any issues she has at school? Any meanies picking on her? Does she need a daily vitamin or different nutrition? Any other changes that could point to anything medical? I'd miss her Sweetness too. Does she watch any 'shows that may be influnencing her? She just wants to grow up quickly. Doesn't she? This does happen for sure. But it seems quite young. My DD's weren't like that! But hugs to you on that! We're all different for sure! Maybe a heart to heart talk! No one likes to get their hurt feelings! I remember when oldest DD loved my Singing. Then Realized I didn't anymore sound like Madonna! Etc.. I get you! Hugs!! I get it! You're not alone!! You can always start over some day with Grandchildren!! They're Perfect Children! Really! LOL!! I was 44 & now I have 3 perfect Grand babies. And 2 Step Grandson. Good luck to you!

    Answer by Angellinda at 10:25 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • I just tell my kids to stop it bc see all these gray hairs I have it bc of you making mommy mad and I might die bc of that..they just kind of look at me and wonder and stop (for awhile) but then at it again all that for it worked for a

    grandmalol I am not that old but I do have alittle gray in my


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Feb. 5, 2010