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How many"friends" should my 9 almost 10 yr old girl have?

I am just curious. My dh and I have our kids very isolated. I mean it's not on purpose but we live rural and she goes to a small school w/five other kids in her class. She likes one girl mostly but usually gets along well w/the others. She seems almost like a loner,I mean,she does not mind not just constantly being w/another girl,kwim? Should she be constantly going to parties,calling other kids on the phone and having playdates/sleepovers? Or it it okay for her socially to have a simple routine during the week w/just family???

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (5)
  • over the course of my life, I've been both ways. having just a few good friends, other times being the popular one, and I can say that both had their benefits, but I found the popular route to be exhausting - it's much easier to have genuine friendships with a few close people.
    She'll find her way over time- it'll be OK.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • my SD goes to a small school, but definately not that small. she doesn't call girls from school very often or go spend the night or have them over. when she is at her mom's she has had a friend stay over a lot, but her mom is more into inviting people over. her dad and i would rather spend the time with her and our family. she gets plenty of friend time at school. and we generally like to enjoy our evenings and have busy weekends. my SO has 3 sister's so there seems to always be something going on. she has more friends through cousins and friends of the family.

    i would maybe try to get her involved in extra curriculars....i wouldn't push friends or anything like that. if there are only 5 people in her class, she only has a few options. it will be okay. i dont remember having a ton of friends in elementary. i found my circle in middle school and high school.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:46 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • There is no set amount. Some peole have a few friends and some have lots of friends.

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 5:39 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • I have never had a lot of friends, the amount doesn't matter, the quality does. Get her involved in other activities so she can meet other kids her age.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:12 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • As long as she socializes that's fine. I had lots of acquaintances as a child but had one best friend. Having one quality friend is better than lots of so-so friends.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:26 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

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