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why does my brother still let my dad control him?

my brother is 18 and recently joined the marines. My dad has always demanded respect from us in somewhat of an abusive manner. I left when i was old enough to make the decision of who i wanted to live with. I feel like my dad was harder on my brother and more abusive because he wanted him to stay. My brother was staying with my grandparents after he graduated highschool before he joined the marines and they are the ones who saw him off to bootcamp and even went to talk to a recruiter and everything. I just talked to my grandpa and he seemed really sad because he was looking forward to my brother riding home with them after bootcamp graduation...my brother wrote my grandparents a letter saying that my dad wants him to ride home with him! Why does he still let him have control?

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shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 11:09 PM on Feb. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • So many children who are abused strive to please the abuser. Even as adults they try to please hoping to get the love they didn't get but wanted as a child. He will probably never get what he wants from dad bc dad doesn't know how to give it. Sad. Your brother is just seeking approval from dad. It would be nice if dad would see it and give it. I wouldn't hold my breath though
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:16 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • i know...i did rebel..but i came back and tried seeking my dad's "approval." I tried doing everything to get that feeling. I just felt like my dad would put on this fake show or act and then if i said the wrong thing he would snap. I have totally given up on trying to be family with my dad. I wish my brother wouldnt put himself through it but he doesnt realize he hurts everyone else. I think my dad does things like this on purpose...using my brother to get at the rest of the family (my mom, and grandparents...my parents are divorced)
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:24 PM on Feb. 4, 2010

  • This is what we call "Emotional / Verbal Abuse ".
    It is a type, of brain-washing, to get people / childen to do what you want.....

    you are welcome to mail me.....
    OR
    Google--- emotional abuse
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:19 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

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