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Should I ask my stbx to start paying child support if I haven't filed for it yet?

My baby is almost 1 month old and his sperm donor hasn't even been around to see him. Last time I talked to him he said he didn't want to be involved. I plan to file for child support soon, but I don't know when I'll have a chance to go to the DHS. I feel like it would be better for both of us if he started paying now so he wouldn't get so far behind. This sorry excuse for a man I married thought it would be a great idea to start a family then he refused to have anything to do with me after 2 months. He is also saying the child is someone elses because some idiot friend of his sister told him the baby was born at 37 weeks instead of 33 weeks. I am SO tired of this already and it hasn't even begun.

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Asked by FroggyFeet at 1:50 AM on Feb. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,353 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • wow you have a heavy load in your life for a new mother. sorry your husband has apparently bailed? get yourself to the child support place and get the ball rolling , stop delaying. this is for your child's protection and future

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:55 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • You would need to have receipts to show he has paid you or it doesnt count. ALso you have no real idea what they will make him pay so how can you have him start paying you? What if he has to pay you less then you think & he' s already given you some, then he's ahead.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Receipts would be a good idea. I thought I could get a general idea of what he'd have to pay by using a child support calculator. I'd ask him to pay at least half of that. If it turns out to be less I guess he'd be ahead, which would be the first time in his life he'sactually ahead on a bill.

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 2:09 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • When hubby and his ex went through this DFS actually advised her to not take any money from him for any reason from the time she filed until the case was resolved. It can complicate matters a lot. The best advice is to get filed immediately, as soon as possible. After you file it may take a long time for the case to be resolved, but once it is, he will owe back payments from the time that you actually filed the paperwork.
    If he does not pay the back payments, then any and all tax refunds he gets in the future will go toward what is owed, and they can garnish his wages up to (I believe) 25%. But the most important thing for you to do in this situation is file the paperwork.

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 6:34 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • He gets paid in cash so he doesn't pay tax. I don't know how they'd garnish his wages.

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 8:43 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • I hate to sound like a Debbie Downer, but you can ask. This does not mean that he will pay unless he is forced to do so by the courts. If he doesn't want anything to do with the baby, more than likely you will have to pull his teeth in order to get him to give the baby some money. Good luck with everything. I had a similar problem when my oldest was born. My ex was excited and happy and then he got cold feet and ran the other way. He did, however, willingly give my DD money for the things she needed. Just hang in there. Things will get better.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 10:43 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • If he gets paid by cash you are gonna get the lowest possible payment. There is no way of proving what he makes otherwise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • They can't make his employer tell them what he makes?

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 5:55 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

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