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Whole syblings and half syblings,w/an aging parent between them??

I am 38,my brother is 35. Our dad had a child by another mother. My half sister is 23. Dad is now 67,divorced from half sister's mom. My half sister is spoiled,has a HUGE attitude of entitlement. She was the only child of her mother whom was also an only child. The have both been VERY spoiled. My half sister has never had to work a real job,has almost never been told NO. She comes to me,after not talking to me for 2 yrs to tell me that she want to open a botique and wants my dad to co-sign on a loan. She also tells me that the convertable my dad bought for himself was REAL bought for HER and that my dad gave it to her but took it back because my brother said it to extravagant a gift. In the same conversation she tells me that my Dad has a lot of problems and that her mom,her grandmom and her think she should get power of attorney over my dad. My dad has a lot of health issues,the main one is he is very over weight~Continued~

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Feb. 5, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Your younger sister sounds like a flake but she's no less his daughter than you are. Also, what he chooses to do with his money is none of your damned business. Sorry, but if he wants to spoil her rotten and not you, that's lame but it's his choice.

    If you have concerns about his future health and financial stability, you should arrange a meeting with your father and both of your siblings so that you're all on the same page. Have everyone come prepared to write up documentation and come with questions. You should make sure that your father has a will and a living will and that you are ALL aware of his wishes. Video tape the meeting if you think there will be issues later. Have an attorney present at the meeting who can act as a witness and impartial adviser and who can write up all of the documents when decisions are made, but do remember that those decisions belong to your father.

    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 2:11 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Your dad is an adult and really not old in the realm of American aging parents. I'm not sure that an exwife and an ex mother in law and/or a birth daughter who's inexperienced in life and finances could get control.

    Sounds like you and your brother both also children of her father would have more pull than half sister.

    Seems that your brother agrees with you. Join together and tell little sis no. Don't negotiate. Tell her she starts trouble the two of you will finish it. He divorced her mom for a reason. He took the bed back for a reason - your dad trusted your brother's word over his littlest child's word.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 9:20 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • OP~cont~He also has some heart stints. I was Sooo POed! Can you imagine the nerve of her??? The "botique" she wants to open would have to be co~signed on. She is still in school(university) My dad is already totally supporting her. She has never had to take care of herself~at all,I mean if her apartment is messy her mommy comes and cleans it up! She came over to me crying because as I found out My dad did not show at the bank to co~sign. She was having a pitty~party. I feel for my dad,I realize that she is his kids (and the apple from her mother's tree) I was mortified as you can imagine,I called my brother who basicly helps my dad,they are much closer than me and my dad. The question I am asking is,now,how do I handel her??? I mean should just cut her out? HOw do I cope w/this person?? How would you feel?? I'm sick over this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Did you mean siblings?
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 9:41 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Surely your dad would know better than to give someone like her a POA. It sounds like your brother should have the POA. She needs to learn coping skills and how to live on her own since when something does happen to dad she's going to be lost. He is enabling her. How to you cope with her? Try asking her what's she is going to do when dad is not there in life not just at the bank to sign a loan for her? She needs to quit her whining and find a way on her own, without dad. My mom made us find our own way for funding our projects. She would say "if it's meant to be then you'll find a way". Tell the sister that this is an opportunity to accept the challenge and to show dad she's an adult and can do it herself. BTW, has anyone told her that the economy is really bad and that upstart companies such as a boutique might not do so well since people are watching their spending? She might want to read a newspaper!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:52 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • He is of sound mind, if the bank thought that she was a horrid risk out right or that he was making a poor judgement they wouldn't agree to the loan.

    I'd just express concern to your brother and his wife and leave it alone. At least if the ceiling comes crashing down and she runs away with the money or it fails as a boutique you'll have your brother and his wife to share concerns with and help for your dad

    Take a breath and just concentrate let it go. At least she's just getting a loan and not taking over his affairs entirely like you said earlier.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 9:57 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • OP here~lfl,The reason she came over here was because he did not "make the bank meeting" iow~he stood her up.He is refusing to co-sign. I taked w/him yesterday but it would have hurt him deeply if he knew all the things she had said about him. I know it did me. I don't think there is a real chance she is taking over his affairs but I'll tell you,when he had his stints put in you had better believe that she,her Mom and Grandmom were at the hospital(just in case). It makes me ill.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Talk with your father. If your father denies this stuff, then it isn't true.
    If I were you, I'd get power of attourney before her. If you know she's greedy and trying to scam things out from under your dad, then take action before she does. Get power of attourney and take control.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:39 AM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • ~OP here~Avarah,remember! though,my dad's dd came over and was telling me all this,I have not wanted to get involved but since she came crying to ME of all ppl! I felt as though I had to call my brother,I hated all of this. Hey,you sound strangely like a lawyer! You do have the best answer,so,I'll give you that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

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