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Is it normal that my 7 year old DD is embarrased to ask to go to the bathroom?

She will not ask. she will hold it and hold it and hold it. Her teachers/me/her coaches have to ask her if she needs to go and she will turn beat red and say no. we/they will then have to tell her to go. Why? How do I help her not be embarrassed about having to pee. It has always been this way but this is the first year that her grade doesn't have set bathroom breaks.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Feb. 5, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • she is just shy! You need to encourage her to come out of her shell a little more. It sounds like you are trying that already having her in sports(?) Keep talking to her about it but DON'T make it a big deal it will only embarrass her more. Talk to her teachers about the situation but not in front of her so they can try to encourage her as well. She will either grow out of it or learn to cope but either way she will need your help for now.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:16 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • My daughter won't ask to go either. I don't know what to do either. I asked her if she would be less embarrassed if she ended up peeing her pants again, but she doesn't seems to think that will happen again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • this is a common medical problem called pee shyness. My guess is she doesn't like anyone to hear her pee either(like waits to go as someone flushes or wait til the room is empty). You need to discuss it out side of her presence with her doctor. Then you need to go to the school to discus set times that you daughter is allowed to leave the room to pee no questions asked. No student needs to know where she is going and she doesn't have to ask to go. None knows but you her and her teacher.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • I used to do that when I was in 1-2 grade too. I would hold it so long that I got urinary tract infections all the time. Eventually my parents had to meet with my teachers and set up specific times that they sent me to the bathroom. If I peed great if not that was fine too-but I had to go to the bathroom. It was every couple hours that I was made to go. Eventually I got over it and went when I needed to. I honestly don't remember why I did it so I can't help you there.

    Answer by Carajust at 12:39 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • My oldest ds was the same way. He would wet his pants. My dh & I finally sat him down and told him that he had to go to the bathroom during recess. It helped him not have any more accidents. I used to babysit a little girl that hated to use someone else's bathroom. She would hold it until she got home. Her parents and the teacher got together talked it over. It was decided that the teacher would keep an eye on her to see if she went to the bathroom. If she didn't go to the bathroom, the teacher would make her go. After a while, the problem resolved itself.

    Answer by dustbunny at 12:43 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • It's a common problem with shy children. They don't want to 1) raise their hand, 2) have to speak and 3) reveal something of such a private nature to a room full of people.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • I still hate asking where the bathroom is I will wander around the store looking until I HAVE to ask and then I blame it on DD.. I also hate people to see me go into the bathroom or stall. I only pee when someone else flushes or there isn't anyone in there. I know everyone pees but for some reason it is very embarrassing to me for someone else to know that I need to go or hear me going. I'm turning red typing about it- ::sheesh:: Road trip are horrible. I don't even like to tell DH when I need a bathroom. I will wait until I am bursting to tell him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Just keep talking to her about it and explaining that going to the bathroom is something everyone does (classmates, parents, teachers, etc) and that she doesn't need to be embarrassed when she needs to go. Maybe there is a book about it that can help her? Take a look online and see if there isn't one for her age that explains that it is ok to have to go pee!

    She'll come around. We ALL do it. And IT's OK!

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 8:59 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • my 4 year old is the same way...she will hold herself and do the peepee dance lol...untill i ask her if she needs to go and then she makes me go with her...i just thnk that my daughter is scared of the bathroom by herself lol...I think it might be normal though...maybe she doesn't want to go alone? other than that i'm not really sure...i'm sure she will grow out of it...sometimes my daughter will ask is she can go at home and we always tell her she doesn't have to ask that she can just go...hopefully they both grow out of it :) good luck

    Answer by mom_on_strike at 2:28 PM on Feb. 6, 2010