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I know people don't usually like to respond to child support questions, but I'm needing some opinions or advice on this one...

Quick background info: I have a 10 yr old dd from a previous relationship, there is a child support order on her bio dad but he has never paid a dime to help me raise her. But my question is really about my 1 yr old dd's father. He and I separated a few months ago, I bought my own house and relocated my 10 yr old dd to another school. Because of the move, she is no longer able to walk to school so I had no choice but to put her in Latchkey (a before/after school program) until I get off work. I had to get government assistance to help pay for this & in order to do that, dhs made me file child support on my 1 yr old dd's father. (i guess bc from there perspective, i must exhaust all financial help for both kids before trying to get help from the government?) So i filed child support on my 1 yr old dd's dad bc of this. He was PISSED off bc, in actuality he does take care of her even tho we arent together.. CONT.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Feb. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Well he needs to do it through the courts properly & get "credit" for it then.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • CONT..
    His grandmother babysits our dd while we work and she only charges $60/week which he has been paying by himself since we separated. I guess my problem is that he keeps tellin me hes goin to get a lawyer & fight me on this b/c he believes he shouldnt have to pay child support since he pays for her childcare. I’ve explained to him that when I start receiving the support, he wont have to pay for childcare anymore bc I’ll use the child support to pay his grandma. But the problem is, he ONLY wants to pay $240/month which is EXACTLY the amount I’d have to pay his grandma to watch her. He earns about $1500 every 2 wks at his job & he can afford to pay more. Would YOU by like WTF too? Its like he's trying to get by without having to pay much for his daughter. I can't even afford to pay my co-payment for my 10 yr old dd's childcare.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • He needs to understand its not what he "wants" to pay but what he is required by the courts to pay. You dont get to choose how much child support you pay!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • he needs to be paying more than that.. go through FOTC and get a reasonable amount

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 3:47 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • court will assess what the two of you make, and then will assign you an allotted sum. HE can fight that all he wants, but when it comes to g'vt assistance, and fathers not wanting to pay a minimum... well, he simply can't 'win'.

    long and short of it is, that if he CAN afford to pay more, he should. that is his child. it's great that he is actually helping, i credit him that, but if he can pay more to help- why is he not volunteering it him self?
    don't be intimidated by his threat to get a lawyer involved, the only thing THAT will do is cost him more money- child support, especially when the mother truly NEEDS it, can not be avoided- and should not be. the only thing that he could establish is altered visitation schedule, which has NOTHING to do with support. in the eyes of the law they are totally separate issues.

    do not sweat it- just wait it out and see what happens.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:52 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • he is sol - he will pay what the child support enforcement orders him to pay
    go online and goole the child support calculator for your state, and enter all your info in and it will give you an estimate of what he will have to pay

    but he doesnt get to decide how much

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 3:53 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • If he helps financially then he needs to file with the court to get credit for doing so. Then they may lower how much extra he has to pay. Just ask him to work with you on this, so you can get all available options benefited to you. You need to file with the court to FORCE your 10 yr old's father to pay his child support as well.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:56 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • on a side note- your 10 year old's father will lose his federal/state income tax return each year until all back support is paid, as long as you have an ACTIVE case with child support enforcement. go to the court house, and file with child support enforcement, or do it through DSS- and then KEEP YOUR CASE OPEN. you will automatically receive all of his tax return each year until it is paid off- THAT might make him want to make payments.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 4:05 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Thanks to everyone for resonding to my question, especially to the one that recommended googling the child support calculator. I appreciate it...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Parents can't be paid for child care. I don't think grandparents should be paid for child care either. I take care of my toddler grandson over 40 hours a week for free. They don't have much income right now. My son takes me out to eat once or twice a month and gives me $20 every so often to help with food.

    Most states have child support charts and support is calculated by the child support division based on your income and the father's income. Make sure you file for custody if you haven't done so. The father can file for custody and ask for support from you! If you haven't been awarded custody in most states custody is just as much his as it is yours right now.

    You may also get back support from the time you stopped living together. The court may or may not accept that he paid his parents as support. You could be awarded a lot of $$$.

    Answer by Gailll at 4:17 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

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