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am i a bad person because sometimes i kinda don't want to hang out with a friend of mine cause she smokes and i don't want to smell like smoke?

i know it sounds bad, but she and her husband both smoke. and all of their friends and the mutual friends we have do too. i was at her bday party, and there were maybe 25 people there. me and my husband were the only ones there who don't smoke and weren't smoking. i kinda felt out of place. and i smelled really bad like smoke when i got home. i mean, i don't mind my clothes smelling like smoke, but i hate my hair smelling like smoke. i don't know how to bring this up to her that her smoking around me bothers me. i mean, i can't tell her not to smoke in her own house.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Feb. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • No, But you want to hang out then go hang out at another place in public so she can't smoke... like a coffee shop or some where of your desire. if she catches on and asks then let her know. Or she can come to your house a hangout but don't allow her to smoke in your house. just a few ideas.... hope everything works out.

    Answer by MommyBulger at 5:04 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • I hate being around smokers! Such an ugly habit!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Tell her you don't like the way you smell when you've been around smoke & for your health are choosing not to inhale the toxic & deadly fumes. If she wants to do things w/ you then they need to be somewhere where she's not smoking. You're right, you can't tell her not to smoke in her house but you can choose not to go. Let her know the reason or she's gonna assume she did something to upset you. Many smokers have forgotten how assaultive their addiction can be to those around them.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 5:29 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • I hate going to my Mom's house for the same reason. I have to shower when I come home. When I send my DD she smokes outside but I don't send anything that can't go in the wash right away. I don't let my LO stay longer than just a few hours and no over nighters.

    Answer by coala at 5:29 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Please don't tell her anything. She may be offended by that. If you don't want to hang out with her, then find an excuse as to why you can't hang out or try to get her to go to your house where she has to smoke outside. Smoking is a bad habit, but certainly not a reason to offend someone or end a relationship over. Just make it more on your own terms.

    Answer by lowencope at 5:37 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • No. I can't be around smokers and don't mind telling them that's why I can't hang with them. My throat would swell up and I wouldn't be able to breathe not to mention smoke stinks. I can't visit people who smoke in their house even if they are not smoking while I'm there. My eyes will water and swell and I'll start wheezing. I had to stop dating a very nice man bc he smoked. Smoke and nicotine was on his hands and tongue and clothes. It was awful and you don't want to know what else swelled up that he touched!

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:18 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

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