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What would you do?

My fiance swears he is so in love with me yet he always goes on websites geared for gay men or with weird fetishes. He does this behind my back...and when I find out he lies about it or swears he won't ever go back on the sites again....this has happened numerous times. What would you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Feb. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • He needs help he probably has a porn addiction or something of the sort. He needs counseling there could be an underlying issue such as maybe he was sexually abused as a child?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Hope that when all is said and done after the wedding 15 years down the road have him come out and say he is leaving you for a man. As for his hobbies not much to do. he may slow down but will it ever stop? Probably not. Sorry
    JaymieZ

    Answer by JaymieZ at 10:43 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • I would sit down and have a nice long talk with him and tell him its okay to tell me how he honestly feels about this. I would makehim feel like he can trust you and that you would never leave him no matter what answer he gives, and make him completely comfortable in telling you, then when he does, leave his a** if he is gay!!! Just kidding, no seriously I would ask him to seek relationship therapy with you to truly find out if this is what he wants...or better yet what you both want....
    protectivemompa

    Answer by protectivemompa at 10:44 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • totally agree with number one! and I studied psychology for six years!!!
    protectivemompa

    Answer by protectivemompa at 10:44 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • I would give him an ultimatum, I'd tell him if I saw it again the relationship would be over. I would absolutely not put up with that.
    momov4kids

    Answer by momov4kids at 11:31 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Sounds like he's 1. Curious or 2. a closet homosexual.
    It's a hard call as to what to do. Honestly, you just have to be up front with him. "Honey, I know you have repeatedly gone to those sites even those you've sworn to me you wouldn't. I am starting to question your intentions with those sites, and I need the truth from you." Then just ask him to be straight .. Is he gay? Is he curious about being in a guy-guy sexual situation? Just sit down with him and let him know that this isn't cool for you, and how you truely feel about it.

    Giving him an ultimatum would lead him to hide it from you even more. He may really love you, but he may be 1. a closet homosexual or 2. genuinely curious and questioning himself. Just talk to him. No fighting, no blaming of who's fault it is, just talk to him about it honestly and openly.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:54 PM on Feb. 5, 2010

  • Find a new fiance
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:18 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • my brother was married twice and it wasn't until after the 2nd divorce he realized that it was men he was more interested in..He thought he could turn off his feelings by marrying women...That a marriage would change his desires.....He was unhappy, He treated his wives fine, he cooked and cleaned he took them out....The first one cheated on him and the 2nd one he left because he was no longer "that into her".
    He says now that men are what make him happy.

    I'm just saying all this as something to think about...maybe he should go into counsling before getting married to make sure he is positive that he wants marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Accept him as he is or move on
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:51 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

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