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If it weren't for my kids we wouldn't get $10 grand back...but my husband acts like it's his money and I don't get anything...big vent...sorry I had to

if you take my kids out of it we would only get half that! suddenly he's wanting a snowmobile for ice fishing and a 4 wheeler for hunting. He has a house that is un- livable and he wants to by new trusses and gut the house and put on a new roof then we can start from scratch and live there one day......he wants to live there because all he has to do is walk out the door to hunt and go down the road to fish.
I say the kids need beds and we need a new couch and he just rolls his eyes and thinks it's a waste of money!!!
How do couples decide on a happy medium?
I have told him it's my kids that he deducts so I should get to have a BIG say on how it is spent...His argument is that he supports my kids so it's money returned to him,

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Feb. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • If the children do not have a decent place to sleep, that should be number one. If they can make do for another year on what they have, put the money into the house repairs. Common sense is missing in a lot of men.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • you're married, it's BOTH your money. besides, all of that would be way more than what you're getting. sit down with him and write out the things you NEED first, get an estimate, and if you have enough, talk about what you want most. that's what dh and i did. if you don't have enough for what you want the most, then maybe you have enough for something small you guys want, each, or just put it in the savings account.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • You're married and entitled to half the money. Hubby and I are separated but that's the way we've worked it out, although until recently I had primary custody. I definitely think home improvements take precedent over furnishings. What have the kids been sleeping on all this time? I'd check out whole sale sites online.

    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 1:38 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • op here~

    My son is 5 and he sleeps with me on an old king size bed..hubby sleeps on the couch and my daughters sleep on matress and box spring sets
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • wow you both need to grow up, i cannot even imagine using my son against my husband in a money fight. and he is acting like a spoilt brat.

    grow a backbone without fighting and yelling. stand firm and tell him honey we need to sit down adn write out how this money needs to be 1)some put away for an emergency and 2) for essentials IE kids beds and LASTLY something for YUO and something for HIM. thsi is a no ifs ands or buts.
    and dont use the kids, either of you
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:49 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • op here~

    Should I sit in the corner?.......sorry for the sarcastic nature I just can't take someone seriously when they misspell so much,sorry..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • My DH is an avid outdoorsman and would love all of those things too but the difference is he knows that he has responsibilities to me and our kids. It sounds like you are living meagerly to say the least and snowmachines and4wheelers are toys not needed to live day to day, the house thing is a little different, but you need to have a safe comfortable living environment before he can go play. If my DH pulled this I would tell him no or I am taking my kids an leaving, he is being a selfish asshole and that is absolutely not ok by any means.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 2:45 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • op here~ truealaskanmom....you are right! The thing is we have a decent place now but it's "in town".......this house he wants to refurbish is a pipe dream only with him in mind!! and he can't use a computer but he has me bringing him to craigs list to look at TOYS for himself....I told him I wanted a snowmobile, he laughed and said, it was for him to go on the lakes ice fishing!!

    The kids are getting beds!! I don't care how mad he gets! he will get over it.....and if he doesn't then I will leave
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • anon31, they are typos. i have a medical issue. thanks.

    grow a dang backbone woman
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 3:09 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • GOOD OP!! but remain calm no matter how he acts or what he says.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 3:10 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

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