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Is it possible to get those feelings back?

My significant other complained tonight that I treat him like a stranger. I denied it but the truth is I do. I am polite but distant. We rarely if ever fight. We have lived together 3 1/2 years. He treats me ok, I pay the majority of the expenses, it has hurt me financially for him to be here, with his children. He does cyber sex with women on the internet frequently, it used to hurt me, I pretty much feel nothing over it now. He says they mean nothing, but it did hurt. I just do not feel the same, I have a hard time being around him, is it possible to get any good feelings back. Also, my birthday was recent, not even a card, I expect the same for valentines. I am not good at breaking up, don't know if this relationship can be improved, not sure if I care. Any advice?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Feb. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Oh goodness. You should move on. Don't do this to yourself. It isn't all on him that things failed. It is also you. You allowed your standards to be lowered instead of standing up for your values and asking for the respect you deserve. You can't get that good feeling back with someone who was allowed to take advantage of you. He probably would only fight you about every little change you would try to make. It is better if you just accept that you both blew it. He is scum for treating you those ways but you should have never let it happen. There is someone out there who really deserves you but it isn't him.
    IzzeAddy

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 1:23 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • You and your relationship is a product of HIS OWN MAKING! and you should tell him just that. From what you have said the relationship left ship a long time ago. You need to talk to him about it and tell him its time for him to go.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 1:40 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Get rid of the loser.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • yup BUH BY. walk away and find someone who will treat you with respect
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:44 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • He is having affairs on you over the internet. Even though you say you are okay with it, you are obviously not or else you wouldn't have even brought it up in your question. You are not okay with you, you have become desensitized to it. It sounds like there is alot wrong with this relationship. He isn't treating you any better than you are treating him. Actually he is treating you worse. He knew that these cyber affairs really hurt you and just brushed it off as nothing. He doesn't care that it hurts you. That shows he doesn't really care about you.
    Take some time and really evaluate if this relationship is even worth saving. If it is your best bet is couples counseling. You both have some work to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • "He isn't treating you any better than you are treating him. "

    I have tried to get past it. I do the Suzy homemaker bit, fixing him his favorite meals. I always spoil him on his birthday, Christmas. I have told him, I would like to be treated in kind. I am not asking him to spend a lot of money on me, just something with a personal touch. I still do all those things, I just do not have any emotion left to give him. He says I am still kind to him, polite, just that I am very removed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • sounds like its time to just move on. I know it might be hard but it really doesn't sound like a good situation anyway

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • It is hard to love and respect someone when it isn't being returned.......Take a night off the 2 of you go out, get a hotel room and really spend time alone and work things out and decide where to take things from there.

    Every so often me and my dh will go to a casino resort nearby. We get a room, hang out and take it easy, before you know we are talking...we then would probably "do it" then get food from the casino bring it back to our room and dig deeper into things, calmy over munchies....food seems to make conversations better, that's just me.

    or you could just tell him point blank that his lustfilled ways were disrespectful and he needs to change, you tell him the terms or he can leave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • You deserve to be treated better, find yourself someone worthy of you!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 9:59 AM on Feb. 6, 2010

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