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2 yo DD keeps hitting my newborn! What can I do?

I've tried time teaching her 2 touch him kindly, given her time out, spend quality time w her n she still does it! What can I do to help??


Asked by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Feb. 6, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Do NOT hit a child to try to teach them not to hit.

    How crazy of an idea is that?

    A 2 year old should never be hit. If hitting is modeled in the home then that is what the child is going to do. Parents hit because they were hit. Their children hit each other and other children because their parents hit them.

    In some countries hitting a child is illegal. Even if it is your own. Would you let someone else hit your child?

    Answer by Gailll at 6:02 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Don't leave the baby where the toddler can reach, especially if you're not there to supervise. Discipline, and stick to it. Put the toddler in time out when he/she hits. Wear the baby so the toddler can't have easy access.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Toddlers at 2 years old have no way of communicating their feelings or their needs. She may be aggressive because she is angry with the attention the new baby gets. She could be frustrated that he is crying or smells funny. Two years old hit normally, she is just letting him know who is the boss. Now, with the that said, I would slap her hand (not really hard) each time she hits him. I know there are moms out there that do not agree about this, but a few times will all it take to get her to stop. BTW, my dd did this when she was 2 and it worked.


    Answer by sonnalynn at 5:56 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • You have to protect the baby. Discipline (punishment) does not work with 2 year olds. Forget touching kindly lectures, time-outs, taking things away, ect. Punishment will make the 2 year old have worse behavior and the baby can end up getting hurt more. Punishment never teaches good behavior, psychologists know this.

    A good book is Love & Limis by Elizabeth Crary. She has a website called Start Parenting that has a parenting chart that you can print out to help you start to learn new parenting skills.

    Avoid calling the 2 year old the big sister or helper. That is too much to place on a 2 year old. Let her know it is your job to take care of and love her and the baby and she isn't to touch the baby. This is easier to understand than gentle touch.

    Don't let her kiss the baby, ever. It spreads germs and doesn't do either child any good. Don't try to force her to love the baby. No touching, no kissing.

    Answer by Gailll at 5:58 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I say...bust the rear end mom...BUST THE REAR END. It won't be the end of the world...kid will get over it and kid will stop hurting baby. If it were MY 2 year old hitting my newborn (or anyone elses newborn for that matter) and after repeated attempt of trying to get him/her to stop by using time out, by explaining why we must be gentle with baby...and it still doesnt work...a little swat will get your message off loud and clear.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I really can't believe someone said to not let a big sister kiss her little brother. That's ridiculous.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 6:44 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Anon, your kid learns not to hit by being hit? How does that work? Then, when the baby hits her, she's going to hit, because that's what bigger people do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • If I were in your shoes, what I would do is keep the baby out of the 2 yr olds reach and practice sibling bonding with a baby doll. Teach her to love the baby and talk gently to the baby and to be quiet when around the baby. Then maybe have someone else hold the baby while you (while holding the 2 year old in your lap and your hands on hers) allow her to visit with her baby brother, having her hold his hands or kiss his cheek/forehead...allowing her to do it a little bit at a time and adding the allowed time with him to slowly increase each time until she finally understands. But that is just my opinion on how I would do it. I would not keep the baby from her all together - that is not right. Im sure it would make her feel like she is not good enough if you did that.

    Answer by MilMom04 at 11:52 AM on Feb. 8, 2010