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Why is it so hard for me to accept help?

I guess in a way I'm stubborn and independent, but I do like to get help now and again. Every time my boyfriend comes over, he tries to help me out with something. I do love it that he actually LIKES to help. My ex-husband was so adamant about NOT helping with anything, that I am just used to doing everything myself. I have a problem saying "yes" when he asks if he can help. Anyone else have trouble accepting help?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Feb. 6, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Your ex sounds like a jackass- I would guess he probably put you down if you asked for help? Maybe you are afraid the same thing will happen with your new guy.
    Plus, habits are hard to break. You are used to doing all yourself, your way. It's not that you're being selfish or that you only want things done YOUR way, I think it's just that you have been hurt & you are afraid that change will bring more hurt. And I don't blame you a bit- been there, done that.
    Maybe you could start with something small, like doing a few dishes or chopping the veggies while you make dinner, and work up from there. Good luck :)

    Answer by emslala at 12:16 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • You've gotten used to doing and "controlling" everything because you had to. You will wear yourself out early in life if you don't start taking care of yourself first which includes taking help when it's needed.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:18 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • pride

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:21 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Its definitely pride and the fact that the ex never helped. I have that problem and its not good. My daughters father doesnt refuse to help but when you ask him for something he takes so damn long to do it that you end up doing it yourself. So I stop asking. But now I dont even ask him or anybody else.
    Its gonna take time and legalmommy is right because my daughter is 2 and i just recently had a major breakdown because Im physically and mentally worn out and at that point I didnt have a choice but to ask for help.

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 8:32 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I don't know why you can not accept help. I hate to have people help me except clean up! It is sort of a two year old mentality "I can do it my self"...

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:35 PM on Feb. 6, 2010