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Would you support her in court?

I have a family member that wants me to support her in court. She has also asked me to write letters of recommendation for her husband's immigration interview (he is from New Zealand). She is fighting for custody of her 2 oldest children. She wants full legal custody and only wants their father to have them every other weekend. She wants child support too.

Here is the thing....she has and does drive "buzzed" with her kids. I consider it drunk but she says she is buzzed. Her new husband also drives drunk. The excuse is that it's only 2 miles but I still think it's wrong. My mom was killed a few miles from home by a drunk driver. I was only 11 yrs old at the time.

I don't know the father very well...but I think he deserves to get his kids 50% of the time.

Either way, I don't want to be involved in their drama. I don't want to write letters and I don't want to be a character witness.

Am I being a disloyal family member?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Feb. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • if it were me she would be reported for driving drunk with the kids in the car...

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:38 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Buzz driving IS Drunk Driving!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Don't testify to something that isn't true and if you know that she's driving around drunk YOU hold the responsibility of reporting that both to CPS and the police.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:38 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I wouldnt do it. If they walk out that court room and a week later get in a deadly accident because she is "buzzed" you would never forgive yourself. I dont think its being disloyal to a family member. Those kids are your family too and it should be whats best for them. You lost a mom to this so you know how it feels. The same thing could happen to them and I would explain that to her. So what if she is mad, its not safe and its illegal.

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 8:44 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • no in face you would do her better if you called the cops on her one time when you KNEW she was buzzed and driving

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:47 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Tell her you can't because you refuse to lie, and that what you know may hurt her more than help her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I wouldn't either. With kids involved you have to think of them more than how she will feel. It seems to me if she's "buzzed" driving maybe the father should have custody over her.

    Answer by jazzysmommy1004 at 9:04 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I would not do it, personally.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:28 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • You know what is right in your heart. I give you permission to withhold the letters and not respond to immigration.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Always do what's in the best interest of the children, and in this case not helping her would be... IMO anyway

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:20 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

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