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I hate her guts and my husband wants to name our baby after her!!

My MIL.... I could go on for hours about her. I will try to make it short. She is a racist, hateful, mean, horrible person. She abused my husband his whole childhood. He was even taken by CPS a few times. She literally whored herself out for a few yrs. Lived with one POS man to another dragging her son along for the abuse (sexual and physical by different men). DH and I planned to have our son about 2 yrs after getting married. She told everyone that she wished our son would die. She wanted me to get an abortion and hoped everyday that I would have a miscarriage. She won't even refer to our son by his name. She just calls him "white boy" (my husband is hispanic, I am white).
DS is 3 and we are due with a little girl this spring. My husband wants to name our precious daughter after his sorry excuse for a mother!! He knows my feelings toward his mom. He has been able to forgive her as an adult. Which I think is wonderful. cont

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Feb. 6, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (27)
  • and takes a strong person to do. But I do NOT want to name our daughter after her. Not even a middle name.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • i wouldnt eiether. just stick to your guns..tell him no way no how.
    mywonderyears

    Answer by mywonderyears at 8:40 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Stand strong and remind him that YOU and ONLY YOU can fill out the birth certificate paperwork and if he wants to have a say in the name that he needs to forget naming her after his mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Why does he want your child named after his mother? You need to take into consideration his side of things and not look for justifications on the internet of woman that only hear your side of the story. If he wants it, there must be a reason. You two need to talk about it why it's so important on both sides.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:41 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • What strength your man has, to overcome to want her name to mean something positive and joyful in his life rather than the dismal memoris it has always been. You need to cherish this man
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:41 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Eeek..that sounds pretty bad. I wish I had a great answer to give you.I don't think I would want to name my baby after a person like that either. Maybe hubby thinks she will treat this baby better than the other one because it would be her namesake? Maybe he thinks the will appreciate the gesture and have a change of heart and attitude towards his family? Maybe he thinks he can fix her? Whatever his reason, I'm sure it is a good one...but not as good as the ones you have for NOT wanting to name your baby after her. Good Luck with that...and try not to stress out too much. :(
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:42 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • "Stand strong and remind him that YOU and ONLY YOU can fill out the birth certificate paperwork and if he wants to have a say in the name that he needs to forget naming her after his mom."


    Um no, they are married. The both have to sign the birth certificate.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:42 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • If you don't like the name then don't give it to your daughter...simple as that. If he doesn't like it, tough. Marriage is about compromise...you should find a name you BOTH like.
    Mrs.Mack.

    Answer by Mrs.Mack. at 8:42 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Legalmommy I have talked to him about this, extensively. His last name is his biological father's. A father that left him when he was a baby. The only family he has is his mom. He wants to somehow carry on her family name and he feels naming our daughter after her would be good enough. I don't really see how that would be carrying on the family name, but I am not going to argue with his logic.
    I have told him over and over I will not name our daughter after her. She hates me and calls me every horrible name in the book. Every family picture we have given her she has taken the liberty to cut me out of the picture. She tells her relatives that she cannot wait until her son wakes up and leaves me behind. She does not treat our son like her grandson. She treats him like he is a parasite to my husband, like our son and I are holding my husband back.
    We both are holding our guns. He won't give and neither will I.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Actually in my state the husband doesn't have to sign anything on the birth certificate. As long as you are legally married he is put as the father on the BC.
    I don't want it to come to that though. I want both of us to be happy and agree with her name, not have it be a lifelong grudge.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

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