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Should I let her go ..tell me what you think

My daughter is 19 months old and she lives with me in pennsylvania. her father live in a different state and sees her once a month for only a weekend. she's really not that use to him yet and when he arrives it take time just for her to get use to him. he want to come and pick her up for the weekend and i dont think that it is a good idea.she never spent the night away from me before and she is use to a certain system.if she goes i feel as though she will be miserable ..his family are nice people but they are complete strangers to her and just to think she will be around complete strangers for the weekend makes me feel as though im not being fair to her.he doesnt know her like that ..what she like to do what she can and cant eat how she likes to sleep how sneaky she is (you have to carefully watch her) please tell me what you think

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Feb. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • he doesnt know her that well cuz he doesnt get to spend much time with her cuz he lives far - let him take her - call and check up on her, and TRY to enjoy the break

    She needs to be able to have daddy time
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:49 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I wouldn't put her in that awkward situation. You know your baby, and if you're not comfortable sending her somewhere over-night, then don't. Your instinct is speaking to you, listen to it. If he wanted to see her on a regular basis that badly, he wouldn't be living in a seperate state, or he would be making more of an effort to see her more than one weekend a month. It would scare the poor girl to be put in a different house overnight with a bunch of strangers. Good luck mama.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 8:51 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Not at this age, no. It would be different if you guys lived in the same city (or even the same STATE) but being since she rarely sees him and is not accustomed to being away from momma, my answer would be no. Maybe he could get a local hotel room for a few weekends a month and let her get used to being with him more that way. That would be better than sending her off to where it would take hours to get her home if she got upset and inconsolable.

    Mrs.Mack.

    Answer by Mrs.Mack. at 8:52 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I BELIEVE THAT IT SHOULD BE A GRADUAL THING SO THAT SHE WONT FEEL OVERWHELMED. MY DAUGHTER IS 22MONTHS AND IF I DECIDED TO LET HER STAY SOMEWHERE ELSE OVER NIGHT SHE WOULD PANICK AND GET DEPRESSED. HE SHOULD JUST MAKE THE TRIP UP TO WHERE SHE IS MORE OFTEN UNTIL UR DAUGHTER SHOWS SHES READY TO BE AWAY FOR A LONGER PERIOD OF TIME. I HOPE THIS HELP AND MAKE THE BEST DECISION FOR YOUR DAUGHTER BECAUSE U DONT WANT HER THERE AND UNHAPPY. :)
    newmommyjazz

    Answer by newmommyjazz at 8:52 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I know its hard...it was hard for me to let my son go away for entire weekends with his dad when we divorced. But its a situation that us adults created and we have to let them go. The only way she is going to get to know him and feel comfortable around him is to be around him.He will learn about her sneaky ways...and other small things,like what makes her laugh,where is her ticklish spots,what she does and doesnt like to eat...and she will learn that he is her daddy and that she is loved by not just a wonderful mommy but a good daddy too. (hope he's a good daddy,i'm just guessing,lol).
    During the 1st few months of getting used to my son going to his dads, were really tough, but I got through them...and you know what? I began to have a bit of my own life too...and I really really enjoyed it. Be strong mom...you will get through this.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:54 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • She has a father who wants to be a part of her life, his family is strangers now, but they wont always be if you allow him to BE her father
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:59 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • no way. i wouldnt let her go. shes too young, she needs her mom & who shes comfortable with & who knows her.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:59 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • If it were me? Absolutely not. No way. No how. But then again my son is 14 months old and the longest I have left him is 30 mins and I was freaking out then.
    Can you go and stay there as well? I know it would be very awkward to stay with your ex, but maybe you two could put aside your emotions for your daughter's sake. It seems like he has only spent a handful of time with her. He might not know what to do with a baby if he hasn't spent very much time with her. If I were in your shoes and he insisted that she goes with him, I would insist to go as well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • mommy,
    you have to understand one thing,she is not just yours,think about all the mommies here alone that wish their baby's dad would aknowledge their child,you may think she'll die with out you but the truth is its you who doesnt wanna know she can actually live without you,tell him everything he needs to know if you feel better,but you said his family is good and i take it there are women in his family,so i think he will get help,its best she gets use to knowing her dad now then later on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • If I were in your position there is no way I would allow that.
    LuvBug3

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 9:46 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

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