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How can I tell if my son is too spoiled or just being a 2 year old boy?

My son will sometimes throw things or play roughly with the dogs and often does not listen to me when I tell him to stop or it is not nice, etc. He will laugh or go run and hide smiling. If he is throwing his trains for example, I will repeatedly tell him not to do it, it is not nice, take care of your toys, etc. and when I take the trains away he throws a fit! What do I do?? I don't want to spank, but time out time didn't really work, he thought is was funny. Is this normal? Is he just testing his limits? What do I do? Please help.

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Asked by tropicalandi at 9:36 PM on Feb. 6, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You are talking to him as though he were an adult. He's two. He has no clue what you are saying so don't reason with them and don't be a bully by taking stuff away from him. Show him how to act. If he throws it then take it and show him how to set it down correctly. He thinks it's a game. Children throw things and think it's funny. They have no idea it can hurt someone or break an item. Don't spank him either, that is ineffective and will just make you feel bad not to mention bruise his spirit and make him angry with you and still not know why you did it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:40 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • If you want him to learn self-control, respect for authority and obedience, spanking is what works. You simply tell him once what you want done or what you want stopped. You don't count or threaten or do anything else. He either obeys or you spank him, just hard enough that he feels the sting on bare skin. You will have a much better behaved child in no time at all. It is a hard thing to do but it works. Once he sees that you are going to be consistent with it, you will very seldom have to use it.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:45 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • A great book is Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary. She has a website called Star Parenting that has some parenting info and a parenting chart you can print out to get you started.

    Punishments like hitting and time-outs don't teach good behavior. Psychologists call parenting that relies on punishment authoritarian and know it doesn't work. The best form of parenting is authoritative. You can google it to read more.

    People mean lots of different things by spoiling.

    Just because behaviors are common it doesn't mean they are desired. It's common for 2 year olds to have tantrums but I don't want my 2 year old grandson to be having tantrums. We know what to do so that there aren't tantrums and he is a joy to take places.

    Don't buy into things like testing limits, seeking attention. It makes kids sound manipulative.

    Answer by Gailll at 9:48 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • You should never hit a child. How horrible for an adult to hit a 2 year old. In many countries it is illegal. We should be promoting good mothering. Hitting children is never good mothering.

    When you hit a child you are teaching that it is ok to hit. It is ok for big people to hit little people. Children learn to resent their parents. They become sneaky and lie. They hit siblings and other kids. They have behavior problems.

    They may learn to fear their parent. Nice. What happens when the child is bigger than the parent.

    Parents that hit were hit. They don't know any better.

    Answer by Gailll at 9:58 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • There is a book and video called the Happiest Toddler on The Block, it is by Harvy Karp they doctor who came up with the the 3 s's. It basically tells you how to communicate with a toddler, they are a lot like cavemen very primitive and prone to fits, so you have to communicate on their level to get results.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 10:18 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • You don't have to hit your child to make him listen to you. NannyB is full of b.s.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Sorry but he sounds like a brat to me. My son is 2 and if he ever treats the dogs disresepctfully he gets punished. This doesn't happen very often because he knows better and he also knows better then to throw his toys around. They learn what YOU teach them and it sounds like you aren't teaching him anything good or he would listen to what you are saying. Once he sees you are serious, you follow through with punishments he won't act that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Listen to Gailll & truealaskanmom. Just remind yourself that he's 2 and a year from now you'll be dealing with something else other than throwing toys or messing with the dogs. These are the training years and training takes years sometimes. You have a good heart. I did like the Happiest Toddler on the Block and don't know enough about the info that Gailll gave you to give advice, other than I did google it and it sounded like a saner way to parent. Authoritative. Very positive parenting. Good luck! :)

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:30 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Parents that hit were hit. They don't know any better., what a stupid statement.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • he being boy.. and he two.. friend has son that age and he does that all time. she just tell him no and take the toy away and he testing his limit to how much he can do

    For me i have daughter and i am somewhat strict with her. IF she throw toy that can break i take away.
    If my daughter act out or not listen she be put into time out (that including throwing stuff and breaking stuff)
    All kids at this age will try to test your limit and see how much you handle.

    we make our daughter stand in corner(fasting the wall) if she has time out she used seat in chair but we now do standing
    try to take one they favor toy away or if do different way of time out put him in his room for time out

    Answer by mommytobe24 at 12:22 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

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