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Where does the money go (MIL) I am so ANGRY!!!

This morning my dh said we need to send his mother $100. This would not be a big deal if it were not for the fact that we are BOTH unemployed at the moment, living on savings. I asked what this was for and he said she needs it to do stuff. Where is her $ she gets SS and retirement funds the first week of every month. Where is her money? I ask where the $ went and he said she paid bills and medical bills. Well she has medicaid and medical ins from her spouses employer. Doesn't that mean no out of pocket for medical? So what is she going to do for the rest of Feb. Well he says he is going to send her money and that is that! I walked away. We can not pay for her to have fun! I know she is not paying any rent because she lives with a friend. No utility bills nothing for everyday expenses but food. Why is this falling on us?


Asked by Noosa at 11:35 PM on Feb. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,483 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • I would be pissed too if my dh decided to start making financial decisions on his own regarding our family money. However, I do have to correct you on the assumption that there are no out of pocket costs on medicare . My mom is disabled and has it.  She has to pay $22 for office visits, extra $5-10 for lab tests, and $3 per prescription.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Feb. 7, 2010


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • Hell no... I would be pissed! You 2 have your own family and she is a grown woman. I could understand if she REALLY needed it and you guys had the EXTRA money but it sounds like you need it more than she does!

    Answer by JenMarie2007 at 11:47 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

  • I agree with you but my mom is also on medicaid and maybe states vary but she pays alot per mos and per visit! I think its insane! BUT I would want to know where her money goes too because if you guys are unemployed you have your own money issues!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Call her and pretend to be concerned to see what she's really claiming the money is for. If you are nice she's more likely to talk to you about things. I sometimes call my x to find out why he missed a cs payment. He'll start out crying he doesn't have the money and I say ok then start talking about other things (how are you? how's the little woman? blah blah blah.) I get him sidetracked then he spills his guts about how well they are doing and how much they are making and from what sources. I just listen then turn his ass in to cs! lol People love to brag. I just give him the chance to do that. I bet your MIL would do it too if you called acting concerned.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:54 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • you and my sister could be bff's! seriously!
    She is laid off and her husband pays for his mom's mortgage and sometimes her light bill...Thats $600 a month, at least!
    Then my sister's mil will send her a box of Nascar stuff ( she's a big fan of it) and that will just set her off!! because her is living free thanks to her son, my sister's sister's oven is broken and yet she can't have a new one because her mil needs her house payment

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 2:21 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I agree with admckenzie. I would give her a call and just chat. See where the conversation goes.
    People who are bad at managing money don't even know where it goes normally.

    My MIL used to ask for money. I knew her financial situation because we had the papers for her pensions and her home was paid for. Once when we offered to help her with her finances she started to cry. We briefly talked about them but really couldn't get to the bottom of it. We did know that she did give money to my 2 SILs when they needed it.

    Eventually my dh told her no more. We are done and she hasn't asked again.
    We still don't know where the money goes. She is now living with one of her daughters.
    Best of luck.

    Answer by AussieMum2 at 3:11 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • His duty is first to his wife and kids then wht he can do for his mother fine. He needs to get priorities straight.

    Answer by whistlemom3 at 11:08 AM on Feb. 13, 2010

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