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How to talk to women?

you see I'm really shy but have always been ok at talking to men (mostly in a flirtatious manner) but now I'm married and honestly I don't want guy friends, I really really need a girls night out but I don't have any girl friends?

I just find talking to women so intimidating- i could be my social anxiety... anyways, how do i do it?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:25 AM on Feb. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I know how you feel. I'm in the same boat. It is difficult for me to make friends who arent' male.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 3:58 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Honestly, I think one thing that helps is try not to look at it as "talking to a woman" or "talking to a man" - just try to think of it as talking to a person, someone you just met and want to learn about :-)

    When you're talking to someone new and trying to make friends, try to look for something positive / nice about them, and, if appropriate, complement them. Don't over do it or be fake with it, but if you like their shirt, say so, or if you really like their hair, you could say something about it, and ask where they get it done, etc.

    Ask them about themselves, but not in a grilling them for answers way, and truly listen to what they say.

    Just be yourself, and find out who they are - not as a woman finding out about another woman, or a woman who's nervous around other women, just as a person finding about another person, and you'll be fine :-)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:00 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Some women will find it offensive if you say something like that to them at first. Get to know them for a bit then you can talk about things like that. Be yourself but don't scare them off with admitting you only are friends with men and that you "flirt" with them. You are just shy is all. I don't think it has anything to do with a man being easier to talk to. But it is very important to make friends with other women. It won't be hard once you get the hang of it, I promise. Just rember to not talk about you having only guy friends and the flirting part.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:33 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I agree with the other CM's. You will be fine just be yourself and ask about what they like and compliment them on whatever you think is neat about them. Their hair or shirt, shoes etc.. Also I agree with the last poster. Make sure you get to know them as a person first before you tell them your situation with being friends with men. It doesn't mean that you can't talk about yourself just try to not bring it up for a while. I used to have a hard time talking to women too and I had to just get out there and try. Years later I am so happy to have made contact with all the wonderful lady friends in my life and you will too. I used to be painfully shy too but I got out there. It will be fine, just have fun.

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:46 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I met a couple moms at the story hours at the library and you can find groups out there, sometimes in the town paper.It's hard wearing crowneither way though if you try to hard you may end up with someone you don't even really like so be careful but not to picky , I guess it'll just happen.I've felt the same way, from time to time, and when I just relaxed it all kinda' falls into place.

    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 7:14 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • You are used to using sexuality to deal with men, which is also why you have a hard time with women. Women don't hate beautiful women, but they don't like women who see every man as a potential sexual conquest. If you have spent your life flirting with men, how many of those men were someone else's boyfriend, fiance, or husband? Or even just a man another woman was actually interested in. Anyway, my point is that I agree with the poster who said that you should not discuss this particular problem with women as you try to meet them and make friends with them. It does stir things up! Try not to see women as "the competition" and see them as potential friends instead. Most women can get along with other women but any woman can be pushed to feel competitive and "threatened" if you are flirty with most men and uncomfortable with most women. Talk about things you have in common...be natural and non-threatening. Take is slow.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 9:00 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I had a hard time relating to females for a lot of years. I've found tho that now that I have a handful of female friends... men bring less drama in to your life. I like that I have female friends whom I can share recipe's with, go shopping with, have lunch and share some of my emotions with, but overall... I still would rather have male friends because of the drama factor. Some of us ladies get tired of hearing all of the gossip, the family drama, and some of us aren't all that crazy about shoes, hair, nails, make up and clothes so... you have to get to know them and find out if they have the same interests you do or don't "play dumb" and fake it that you're in to the same stuff they are. If you're not in to the drama, the whining etc, you have to state your case immediately and sometimes often. I especially hate it when my group of friends have problems with one another and you're in the middle.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:46 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • just listen to them and make no comments or if you do make sure they are not condemming ,All of us are annoying in someway but you gotta remember that no matter what we are just as much girl as you are.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 6:06 PM on Feb. 7, 2010