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Where do we draw the line? (if you can't be kind move on to the next question)

My husband and I have been taking our son into the main sanctuary during church instead of letting him run and play in the "mother's room" during the service. We had be thinking that since he has learned to sit and wait nicely for his turn in the kids class and being almost two he can learn to sit nicely during the service.We also decided to do this because he was getting to the point where he would purposely get fussy and loud so he would get to go outside where it was more fun to play. Hubby is refusing to take him out no matter what he does in the main sanctuary. We have even had people ask him to take him out and he refused because he does not want to reward the behavior. I see hubby's point but we also have to be considerate of other people! Where do we draw the line?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Feb. 7, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • i agree. i think that 2 is too young. I dont think it really has much to do with how much he can sit still, at his age, he is only going to be capable of a certain length of time and it isnt fair for everyone else who is trying to hear gods word and isnt able to over a fussy child. i think that you should wait until he can really understand the importance of the things that are being said and knows that being quiet is part of respect, not just politeness.

    Answer by Des10ed2b at 11:10 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Personally, I think that 2 is too young to sit perfectly still and quiet for such a long time, they are so active at this age, personally my daughter couldn't be that quiet for that long. She can't entertain herself for that long.

    You should be able to teach your seon, but I don't htink you have the right to ruin everyone else's service because of a bad descision that you made.
    If you are going to church, then personally i think there's no reason why it can't be fun for a child.

    Answer by Piskie at 11:06 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I honestly have no idea. I don't do church, and even if I did, I wouldn't take my kids. However, my mother NEVER let us go to the library through church to play. We were expected to sit nicely and quietly through the entire 2 hours - three times a week! And we did. Even at 2 and 3... My mother would give us some small toys or a note book to "take notes" with. But we were expected to sit there. I would say (you didn't say how old your son is) if he is 2 or older, he should be old enough to sit there at least for a great portion of the service. Take him in some books (there are plenty of religious ones he could have) to "read" during the service or give him a special "church notebook" to "take notes" with. Supply him with something to do, but have him sit with you. If you are afraid he will make a fuss, sit in a back corner, that way he isn't bothering many people - if any.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:08 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • At not quite 2, he is not capable of sitting quietly. That is simply too much to ask of a baby- he is still a baby. I know that you do not want to reward his bad behaviors, HOWEVER it is disrespectful to have a sermon disrupted, and cause distractions for those who are there to learn.

    Have you tried telling the workers that he is going to fuss and get upset, and simply to ignore his tantrum? If he truly needs something, then you should be called, but otherwise- that is the purpose of having a nursery. If he is simply throwing a fit, that is part and parcel to working the child care venue.
    By taking him out of the nursery, you are rewarding his behavior.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:11 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • He's waaaay too young to understand what the service is about for goodness sakes..let him play in the Mothers room! That's terribly inconsiderate of you to do that to both your child and the rest of the congregation imo...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • You draw the line at the door of the sanctuary. No child should have to sit through an entire service. He is almost 2 and at that age its like torture to have to be still and quiet for so long. His attention span isn't long so he is bound to distract someone. I think that your hubby has good intentions, but he has to realize that your son is just a baby.


    Answer by sugahmamma at 11:22 AM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • i'd say give him more time..try occasionally bringing him out into the service..when it fails, take him to wherever he need be..but be sure to talk to him about behavior inside sanctuarys. he's old enough to know when he's being good or bad, just not to the extent an older child would. he's old enough to start learning, but perhaps not old enough to hang out the entire service.
    that being said, i find it awful that people would be upset with a parent or the child who chooses to attempt to teach a child proper quiet-time behavior inside the church service. i'm pretty sure JC would welcome any child, and would possibly have a thing or two to say to the listeners gathered about their pettyness concerning children's behavior.
    does your church have classes for ones this young, while service is going on? many churches do, and these are sort of different than a 'crying room'.

    Answer by thehairnazi at 12:02 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • If you insist on taking him in that young, and don't want to "reward" him for being a 2 year old, take him out to the car when he fusses instead of just outside. Better yet, take him to the nursery with the other 2 year olds and let the adults experience the service without having to listen to you try to force your 2 year old to sit through something he's obviously not ready for yet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Feb. 7, 2010