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What do you do when your hubby thinks your cheating

I have never cheated lest get that out of the way!! he don't trust me at all, The reason he don't trust me is because in 08 i was pregnant and he was out of town i smoked for about a week behind his back then i felt awful and i told him. And to make that mater worse we lost the baby. I feel like he blames me for it. Any way how do i prove to him that he can trust me and that I'm not cheating on him. Please no bashing on the whole smoking while pregnant thing I know it was wrong and it will never happen again!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Feb. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • ok maybe it depends on WHAT you were smoking and if you were doing it with someone. Ask him to go into counseling with you. That could lead to good talking out of problems and show your sincerity of wanting to honor him and for him to respect you.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:43 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • ??? Sounds immature ???


    But in an attempt to answer the question.... give him all passwords, let him read your text messages every night, write down your millage and list where you have been. I know that is way over the top... but if he is going to be that way (and you chose him) what other options do you have????

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • He really has no reason not to trust me. I call him when i leave and when i get to where im going I tell him what i have done during the day who was all there when i got ther im not cheating on him i love him to much to ever hurt him like that!! and i smoked a cig!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • If he does blame you for losing the baby, then he may be trying to find any reason to black list you. His accusing you of cheating might actually have nothing to do with actual doubt in your faithfulness. It may just be stemmed from the loss of your child. Some people don't know how to handle loss and turn to blame as a result. They will pick at that person for anything they can muster up, just to justify their loss. I cannot say this as a definate, but it might just well be the cause of his mistrust in you.

    The most you can do is tell him "Honey, I have never cheated on you and I never have. I am faithful to you and you alone." He either believes you or he doesn't. If he doesn't, then you need to ask him what you can do to prove that you've never cheated. He will most likely say "I don't know", but he is the only person that can tell you. If nothing, then ask him "Without trust, then what's left?"
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:07 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I'm with a guy like that too...and it's hard. I have to call hubby every 45 mins while he's at work, and I have never cheated either. So I understand what you're dealing with. As for what you can do...ask him...seriously...say what do I need to do to prove to you that you can trust me? And see what he says. As for smoking while pregnant...I smoked during both my pregnancies....the first one I smoked only 3 cigs a day and my daughter was born full term and healthy at 7lbs 4 oz and with my second I smoked almost a pack a day every day and my son was also born full term and healthy at 8lbs 7oz. So don't beat yourself up about smoking...my mother smoked with all four of her kids, and we all came out fine...I bet you didn't lose the baby because of smoking.....keep on truckin honey.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • maybe he cheated. i hear that some people who cheat accuse the other one of cheating because they feel quilty and miserable. does he make you call him or do you do it on your own? if it were me id tell him if you think im cheating leave im not cheating on you and it will hurt to not have you but it hurts when you accuse me of things i havent done. be miserable for a little bit or just stay and both of you keep being miserable. or like a pp said go to counseling and see if that helps.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • op ok you smoked cigarette for about a week. If he is going crazy which it seems he is over smoking one literally one cigarette there is more going on than him not wanting you to smoke another one.

    About a wee of cigarettes did not cause you to have a miscarriage likely. Or miscarriages would be far more in women's medical histories than it is.

    I really think you need to work on HOW YOU can stay calm. Think about telling him that his belittling you has to stop by going to counseling. It could counseling with a minister or counseling through an agency with sliding fees. His bad attitude could escalate leaving you worse than where you are now.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 1:18 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • First off... wasn't your fault you lost the baby. Smoking for one week, even a full pack a day is not going to kill the child, in fact it is proven that it's best for the mother to wean off of nicotine and caffeine because the body goes in to a form of shock with the withdrawel.
    Either way... you've let him treat you this way and now you have to ask yourself if you can live with this for the rest of your life. Can you? I turned the tables on my man and I called him several times a day and asked the questions... where are ya? what cha doing? What cha thinking about? I just called to tell you I went thru the drive thru at X and now I'm parked in the parking lot, and thought you might wanna know.... you get the point... I prolly drove him nuts (which was kinda the idea).
    You need to tell him that you've never given him any reason to not trust you, and he needs to get over his insecurity.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:01 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • While smoking while preggo is not healthy - doing it a few times during 1 week wouldnt cause you to loose the baby
    (before I get bashed I am not condoning it)
    So try to cut your self some slack :)
    good luck
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 2:26 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • The LADY WHO ANSWERED YOU...about having to call HUBBY every 45 minutes ?

    OMG ????

    THIS IS ABUSE HONEY ??? DO YOU NOT SEE IT ???

    HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLIND ???? OMG ????

    PLEASE COME TO MY PROFILE.....AND CLICK ON GROUP......
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 11:12 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

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