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Does your mom expect you to bring your kids over to visit?

I just got a call from my mom and a lecture about how she never sees the kids and I need to bring them to her and that they get to see their other grandparents all the time. I am a sahm. My mom was working, just recently was let go. It was a part time job, but I never knew when she would be home, she made her own hours and her and my dad go away a lot. We used to ask them to babysit but they were always too busy. My inlaws stop by all the time just to see the kids, or take the for the day. They are pretty much our babysitters all the time. I tell my mom she can stop by whenever, we are usually always home. But she thinks I should bring them to her. I have three kids, 3 and under, that is a lot to pack up to go for a short visit. Wouldn't it make more sense for her to come here? But she makes me feel like an awful daughter because I tell her to come here instead. What do you do? Is she right, should I take them to her?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Feb. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • With three under three, you'd think that the simplest thing all around would be for her to come to your place- she wouldn't need to worry about them getting into stuff at her place or whether her place was adequately childproofed.

    Answer by Bmat at 2:15 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I think she's being selfish and is probably jealous that your inlaws have that kind of relationship with you. Stick your ground, there is no sense you packing up 3 kids under 3 when she could drive over herself.

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 2:42 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Thank you ladies. That is what I think as well. She is just so good with the guilt trips. She knows how to push my buttons. I will just keep telling her she is welcome to come whenever she wants and try to not let her get to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Yes and she lives 5 states away!

    We have never had a vacation that wasnt to visit family... oh how I would like to choose our own vacation!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • If she's in town, yeah, way easier to come to you. Even if she's out of town. I have 2 under 3 and I have enough trouble traveling to my parents' house, but they truly cannot travel. It's frustrating, and if they could travel, they would, because they know how much easier it is for them.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 3:13 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I think it should be 50/50. Make the time to take the kids to see your parents. It's a hassle to get them ready, but it's worth it. And you parents should make the time to visit their grandkids too.

    Answer by Fallaya at 4:01 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Yeppers, and they come to us as well.

    But we live 800 miles from my parents and 1600 from DH's parents, so visits are rare.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Grandparents should move their butts and visit. It's way easier than packing up 3 kids. If she wants to see them so badly, she can make the trip.

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:24 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

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