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why does my three year old having un-called for behavior

these past days my son has been acting out more than usual and i have no clue why.. hes been kicked out of sunday school class a few times and now just this past friday he got sent home from daycare from acting out and not listening to teachers and running away from them as well has hitting kids in his class and scratching them . my mom said maybe its something in his diet thats making him act out! does anyone have any ideas ? im going to now be taking a parenting class to help but im at my wits end sometimes i want to cry!


Asked by elias1mamma22 at 4:25 PM on Feb. 7, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • It's great you are taking a parenting class! Most parents don't have a clue about how to parent. They think that the only things parents can do are hit, time-outs, take things away, or variations of those. Psychologists know authoritarian parenting based on punishments doesn't work. Punishment doesn't teach good behavior. It teaches kids to act out, sneak, lie, and resent their parents. They may hit, kick, bite, and scream.

    Authoritative parenting is the most effective form of parenting if you want to start reading up on it. Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is a good problem solving parenting book for young kids. She has a website called Star Parenting.

    There are at least 2 moms on CM that tell everyone to spank or pop kids for every problem. If the parent is already hitting their kids they say to do it more and harder. Hitting teaches kids to hit not to behave. Hitting kids is now illegal in several countries.


    Answer by Gailll at 4:38 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • well for one he is 3. 3 year olds are not exactly known for listening hon. Maybe talk to his pediatrician to have some behaioural testing done. see what is going on and what help you can get

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:26 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • im one step ahead i already tried talking to his pediatrician and he has not concern all he told me is what you expect hes a boy im like take him for a day and night and well see if you still want to tell me hes just a boy what do you expect.

    Answer by elias1mamma22 at 4:28 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • OK now what does your GUT say? does your child's behaviour seem abnormal to YOU. if you say YES> then fight for testing. Drs often wanna overlook mother instinct. trust me, i fought with my pediatrician as well. and because of his insistance and refusal to refer me, my son wasted a year before i could finally get him in to be tested for autism. not saying this is your situationl,

    the thing is if there IS a behavioural issue at all going on or a developemental one early intervention is KEY. and even if there IS nothing , isnt it better to be safe than sorry?

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:32 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • don't get all offended if I ask 2 q's. what has happened at home recently? This is the age when little boys idolize their fathers. have you been been fighting with his dad? Is his dad in the home? You have to be honest with yourself if you want the answer. Don't punish him for reacting to circumstances.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Has anything changed? Anything from a slight change in his daily routine, to someone who's always there, isn't there that often anymore...or someone new is in his life....any small or big changes can completely change the behavior in young children. Good luck....I hope you figure this out...but I don't think you need to attend parenting classes, I don't think it's your parenting skills that are causing'll figure it out, in the mean time, try to relax, and always set aside some time for YOU. Dont put up with his antics....ignore him if he throws a fit...don't give into him...and eventually he will learn. Good luck again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Have you spanked him for bad behavior at home? If he isn't taught to respect authority at home, he won't respect it in Sunday school or at day care. We always told our children that if they got in trouble when they were under someone else's authority, they were in trouble with mom and dad, as well. If he doesn't like being away from you, it won't take him long to figure out how he can get himself sent back to you. Looks like he may already have.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:38 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • im not offended any anything you ask because im asking for ideas n help! nothing has happend in my home sad to say his father is not in his life and never was and does not want anything to do with him. but my boyfreind that i been with since my son was 9 months has been in his life so my boyfriend is his father figure, as for my gut it says to take him to a other dr. nothing has changed in his routine.. i dont let him watch allot of tv 30 min at max and on weekends ill watch a disney movie with him of his choice other than that there is nothing bad in the home.

    Answer by elias1mamma22 at 4:40 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • well honey, i would say follow your instincts. You seem to be an on top of it mom to me. if you think there might be more here than just a bit of tylical 3 year acting out, i would say push for some testing.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:42 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Food doesn't cause bad behavior. Studies have shown that sugar does not make kids hyper. I know it's hard to believe. Kids do behave worse when they are hungry, tired, or bored. Mothers do too. There is little evidence to back any food causing bad behavior.

    Three year olds don't do well in groups of other three year olds. Day care and church nursery may be too much to expect of him. Most people don't realize but most states don't require school until age 7. There is a reason for this. That is the developmental age that it is good to put kids in same age groups for learning.

    Your son may do better in a home day care with a mom that cares for just a couple of kids.


    Answer by Gailll at 4:48 PM on Feb. 7, 2010