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how can i spend quality time without my son;s in laws always on his tail.

everytime we have a picnic or a festivity or a gathering my son's wife family is always in themiddle they invite themselves, especailly her sister she is always into evry thing no matter what we plan there she is AGAIN!!!! OMG cannot take it i am tolerating my daughter n law family especially now they are having their 3rd child but this is too much. My son and i spoke we had a family meeting and i said i want to spend soem time without her family. now my daughter n law i like her alot she is a good person but her family is every where. when we have picnics there they are again. recently there was an incident with her sister daughter and my grand daughter and she was spoken to and the ault acted like a child and we kind of started leaving the place one by one. i want my son to spend soem quality time with me and his sibling withjout her family around. am i being selfish maybe but come on all i want is to spend some time with.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Feb. 7, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (12)
  • I don't think you're being selfish to wanna spend some time alone with your son. Ultimately, the choice is his. He must speak up to all involved. Hopefully, you've expressed your desire with him.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 6:25 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • My mom has been like what you're asking for. It set us further apart - daughters are usually closer to their own mothers than inlaws and usually that means sons see more often inlaws.

    You mentioned it, son can think about it.

    Can you be the hostess every so often to control so to speak who comes? Just ask the to come for a breakfast or lunch to make it a more relaxed not full party atmosphere.

    My son is in his mid twenties and his girlfriend hardly comes over even tho they've lived together. I know it's because of how close she is emotionally to her mom. That's a tough bond to bend. I have two more kids two daughters and we are closer to each other than I am close to my son.

    Try hosting real small gatherings that just don't make sense to have inlaws there cause of what meal is. Any inlaw who'd shove way into a small breakfast or lunch gathering is really crazy for sure.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 6:38 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Invite them (only) to your home for a visit.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:11 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • My DIL will never let me know what they are doing until the last min. They are the parents of my only grandchild. They didn't let me know when or if they were coming on Christmas until 10 am. The night before Thanksgiving she decided they weren't coming at all. We had all the stuff for Thanksgiving dinner.

    She doesn't even have other family, we are the only place to go. She just likes the power.

    I figure all I can do is go along with it and be nice so I get to see my grand son. I don't want to give her any reason to have an excuse to not come at all. My son won't stand up to her.

    Families.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:21 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I have 4 daughteer in laws and quite frankly we all share a common opinion and is that we are all one big family now. If we have a family function here my daughter in laws parents and siblings are also invited and within their familes their children & their childrens spouses familes are also included. We have HUGE get togethers but we all feel that when 2 people marry then it's also 2 families becoming 1 family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • they invite themselves


    The only way that they would know that is if you DIL tells them to come.  At times you have to be blunt and say invitation is only for your son; wife and grandchild only.  Don't want to feed a crowd. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • I don't see how they can invite themselves to your house. That just doesn't compute.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Just tell your daughter-in-law that as the hostess you will decide the guest list and you have no intention of feeding her entourage.  Invite her directly, don't send it through your son (the whimp is probably the problem)   Jenny I was wonder if the 3 of you wanted to come for dinner Sunday.  There really is no way of misundertanding the words "the three of you."  Then if she feels she can't breath without the gang all there.  Just say sorry, I had something smaller in mind maybe next time.  Let her host everything for a while.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • :20 anon -------- don't send it through your son (the whimp is probably the problem)   laughing

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Your daughter's your daughter the rest of her life, your son's your son til he takes a wife.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

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