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Mother in law gave son pacifier after we told her not too...

About a month ago our son stopped taking interest in using a pacifier to sleep. We went with it, and stopped offering it, making sure that both our daycare provider and family knew he was no longer using it so don't offer it or keep it in sight or reach.
He went to grandmas and grandpas for the night Friday and part of the day on Saturday(we do this occasionally as my MIL really loves it). He did not sleep hardly at all last night(we were up every hour trying to figure out what the deal was with him) and did not nap today.
We went over their house for a superbowl party today and right away my MIL swept him upstairs for a nap. After a little while passed, he stopped crying. So I went upstairs to their bedroom to find my son playing in the crib with a pacifier in his mouth! when I asked my MIL she just said "well I didn't have a bottle" while she sat there on her bed watching TV! How would deal with this?


Asked by Mattysgal25 at 8:17 PM on Feb. 7, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (20)
  • MLM0503: "then she will do what she wants at her house"

    Are you serious?! How can you have that mindset? So if her MIL decided that beating the child was the only way to correct his behavior when he gets older, and since it's in her house, that's ok?

    I believe that as a parent you have the right to decide what is best for your child. Regardless who's house the child is in.

    Answer by Born2BAMommy5 at 8:30 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • You need to be just kindly firm. She meant well.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:19 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • If you don't want her to give it to him, you can't expect her to babysit for him. It's as simple as that.... Sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. If I were in her situation, I would do what it took to get the kid to sleep too. Sorry, Mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I would either kindly pull it out of his mouth and not say anything to her and re-fight the battle of self-pacification, or would politely explain to her again that your baby is no longer in need of a pacifier and you don't want him to have one. Just remember, you are the parent, and this is your baby. If it turns ugly, stand your ground.

    Answer by midnightshadow2 at 8:21 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I would be pissed off but then again if you are letting your baby spend the night with her then she will do what she wants at her house. Our daughter only sleeps out on occassion and it's very rare. It is also only at my mother's house. And she follows my wishes.

    Answer by MLM0503 at 8:22 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I'd tell mil the next time, not now, the next time there is an opportunity for her to watch your ds no matter if you're home or out, that the most important thing in YOUR / mommy family is what YOU mommy decide just like when SHE was a newer mom she had her own rules that she needed followed for her own household.

    Try to not be critical of her instead focus on her right as a younger mom to set her rules of upbringing and you realize that's good. What worked for her young family worked now it's time for what works for your young family

    Answer by lfl at 8:23 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Keep your child with you at all times, don't let her baby sit.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • People are advising don't let her babysit over a PACIFIER? holy wow

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:24 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • I agree with midnightshadow2- just take it from him infront of her (next time) throw it away & nicely say we are not using the paci anymore.. then nicely stand your ground.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 8:24 PM on Feb. 7, 2010

  • Feel lucky your little one has a grandma who loves him and wants to spend time with him. Oh and let it go. It's really not a big deal.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 8:27 PM on Feb. 7, 2010