Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would You Do???

Okay so this is going to be long, but I just feel like i am lost her gals. I have been with this man for 10 yrs now. We have a beautiful family! But I have just lost all affection for him. I feel as though he doesn't support me in any thing I want to do. I wanted to go back to school for nail tech, but he felt it was to much money for me to throw away cause I wouldn't do it anyways. That really hurt, I know I quit school once b/f but it was b/c we got married and lost all my grant money, and then I got prego. I have had alot of issues with him throughout our relationship, he has been caught talking to my friends, calling them and trying to go out with them, of course he denied till the end, knowing that I had heard him on the phone, of course I tried to work it out with him and I lost the only friend I have had besides my sis since we have been married...She thought I was being stupid...I was....But I felt cont...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:44 AM on Feb. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • had to try for our kids. But now I am not so sure I should have ever married him in the first place, we were both divorced b/f and have 1 kid each then our dd. But I have been a sahm for 6 yrs now and i don't know if i can make it alone in this world, no support from anyone, having to make all the income for two kids. I guess I am really scared cause there are no jobs out there right now, and I have no education. I love him, I really do, I guess it is the old cliche I'm just not in love with him anymore. I just feel totally worthless....I dont' want to feel this way, but anymore I just feel like I don't know which way is up. What would you do if you were in this situation.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Hi.Support is number one in marriage.I dont often agree with my husband,but I have always support of him.In my 26,I decided to go to school for account,he said that is great.First time I go to drive our new car I get a crash,I cried and cried,he has ar you normal that is just a car,we can fix them,we are alive,kids is alive everything is ok.Since then,I have crash last year,he tell me every day,go sit and drive car,but I have a fear,and just can not.He is there to support me every time when I must do something.I often think that Im not so much smart,but he is there for me.He know to said you know there is not so much women who can do what you doing since I know you.
    ilijana

    Answer by ilijana at 3:32 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • My cousin is going through your situation. she too has been married for ten years and they have three kids. She too tells me that she has lost her love for her husband and that she knows he has cheated..and she too wanted to return to school to complete her education. WEll, she did leave for about one year. she and her kids moved out of their four bedroom house, into a two bedroom apartment. she worked part time and collected government assistance. She could not handle this new lifestyle..she was dependent on her husband for such a long time...So she opted to move back with her husband. to this end, she still does not feel love for her husband but she puts up with it for her children to live in a big house and a comfortable lifestyle.. Only you can decide what is best for your and your kids...If you want to pursue your education, then go for it! Work part time and pay for it yourself, if he does not want to help.
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 4:02 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • You should go look for a job. Then start saving. After you have enough money saved, then decide if you are going to leave him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:37 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • The reason you don't feel love for him is in part due to the fact that you are angry with him because he didn't agree for you to do what you wanted to do. It's very difficult to feel two emotions at the same time. If you want the feelings to return, choose to release your anger and begin to do loving acts for him. If there's some special food that he likes, make it for him. If there is that one thing you know always says to him that he is loved, do that. Love begins in our minds. We then act on our thoughts, and our emotions follow them. I think that all you need to do to feel loving toward your husband again is to change your mindset and start actively loving him again. You will find that your feelings for him will return pretty quickly. He's the right man--you are just thinking wrongly about him, and you have the power to change that. Start today. You will be so glad that you did!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:09 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Sounds like you have been doing a dance of pretend for a long time. I think it really sucks that he's so negative toward you. He doesn't respect you at all - that's clear. I think what's most important to teach children is how to be in right relationship to other people and how to follow their dreams. Staying with someone who doesn't exemplify those things is not doing the children any good as far as the marriage aspect. If you love him and want to try to work it out, YOU are going to have demand the respect you deserve. This means you don't play dumb about his little games and you tell him you expect him to be supportive of you and not live in the past. Do what you need to do for you, not for him. It's unfair of him to dictate your life to you. You are partners, which is quite different from allowing him to control your happiness.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:03 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN