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should i report this?

i have two little cousins, boys ages 12 and 13, who were removed from their mothers care due to massive drug use. there father,my uncle is a major alcoholic and is now in jail for beeting up the boys' mother.Niether my uncle or there mother will get them back. period. anyway my grandparents, in there 60s, are foster parenting them. THEY CANNOT HANDLE IT! my grandmother hauled off and hit one of them for not cleaning his room fast enough! i got upset with her and told her that foster parenting is a job she took on and that she has no right to hit them, especially without good reason. i told them if they cant handle it they need to call the case worker(of course they wont) and find better placement(someone who can handle teenage boys). they both got very upset with me. they have made it clear they do not want to raise the boys, i think i sould call and talk to the case worker myself. what do you think?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:54 AM on Feb. 8, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • If you do this, are you ready to take them on? is anyone else in the family ? If family memebers wont there is no way to be sure tey will stay together, they will be put in the system and possibly split up. No i dont agree with what happened and i do think they need to be taken out of grandmas house if she is only going to further abuse them. Just be prepared to help suggest alternatives that are in the boys interest.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 3:05 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • I would talk to the kids it is there life you are messing with and like it or not, they may be happier there than with someone they don't know who could be alot worse. And they are old enough to know some of the effects of there decisions. If you feel that they are in the wrong why don't you step up. The gov will actually help you with money so that is no excuse. If you want to accuse someone you should be ready to step in and help, don't do something that will make worse for the kids.

    Answer by lovinmomto3 at 3:07 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Actually for how old they are, I can guarantee they will be split up. There is a good chance they will go to group homes, because it is really hard to find foster parents for preteens-teens. I was in the system myself and they couldnt even find me one, so I eventually aged out. I was on the list for a foster parent for 7 years.

    I personally think you need to leave them be. They are with family. If they are placed with foster parents or group homes, they could end up anywhere in the state. You really dont know, and regardless of the worker she or he wont know either. They cannot make the decisions like that. It depends on what comes along... And you just never know what youre going to get.

    They obviously do want to raise them or they would make the call themselves. They were raised in an entirely different generation than you. I suggest you just back off or you could cause more harm than good for them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • If you arent going to offer them a home, then leave them alone. The state will pay you monthly to take care of them, but you will be required to do a background check and take the foster parenting classes.


    Answer by Itsonono at 3:13 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • OP: thank you ladies. i really appreciate the honest answers, these are the things i have been thinking about for a couple of days and i dont want them to be pulled away from the family but it will happen. my grandparents have already said that if it comes down to there parents not getting them back (which it has) they do not want to adopt or keep them in the home, both boys have fetal alcohol syndrome and the oldest is stage 7(non functioning) autistic and ausbergers syndrome. they are hard to deal with and my grandparents are not up for the long term job. all talking to the case worker would do is speed up the inevitable anyway. as for me i have 5 kids of my own and have no space or time for more. i would love nothing more then to see them in a loving, stable environment because with there disabilities that would have the best long term effect but noone in my family can provide that. my grandparents included.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Those boys DESERVE a better home, one is which the parents know how to handle their issues. I would call CPS and report the situation to the caseworker. They may be separated but these kids need more help and love than they are getting. They need stability, love, patience and PROPER care and treatment for their disorders. If the family can't take these boys, then maybe strangers will be better.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:29 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

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