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Do you and your SO ever just butt heads?

Hubby and I are sooo not getting along lately. It's frusterating with a 2 month old and a 3 year old, we don't get a lot of sleep. I went out with my friends Saturday night and had a couple drinks. I was happy, barely buzzed and far far far from drunk but I heard about it all day yesterday! I got upset that I wanted to take a nap because I'm the one who wanted to go out and "party". I hardly qualify sitting at the bar at Applebee's ordering appetizers, talking with a few friends, and having a couple long island's partying. The reason I went out is he was away for 3 weeks of training last month and I was at home getting zilcho sleep and he went to Las Vegas for a long weekend while he was away! Granted he says he didn't drink, so I don't know if he holds me to that standard? AAAAHHHH soooo annoying!!!
But, now there is obvious tension between us and everytime I try and bring it up he gets snippy!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:05 AM on Feb. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You should be able to blow off steam with the girls the way you choose, and vice versa for him. Maybe he was worried about you driving home after drinking a bit. But like you said, he is not opening up.

    After having 3 kids, I know the need now to go out and have free time to myself. Yep me and hubby clash alot. I have started to get straight to the point instead of "You did this, and I did this.....because becasue...blah blah..." As in your case, if it were me, I would say something like...."Im glad you went to Vegas. Im glad I went out too. We both had fun and I wish you could see that." ( My hubby loves UFC too!)

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 11:21 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • It sounds like you're both just tired. Most parents of young children have been there. Just know that it will pass and love him anyway.
    Maybe you both need some time alone out together. My husband and I butt heads more often if we don't see enough of each other (kids, work, etc.).
    I hope this is a better week for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • How about getting a nap and going out together?

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:34 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • He's probably mad that you chose to go out with your girlfriends rather than spend time with him. Men are very sensitive about those kinds of things, but they do not express their feelings the same way women do. When a man's feelings are hurt, it will most often appear as anger. That is the acceptable emotion for men. As I read what you wrote, I heard a lot of "I" and not much "we" so I think that's probably the trouble in your marriage. He may be thinking "I" on his end, too, instead of "we", so that's a double recipe for disaster, and it will lead to a continual butting of heads. Learning to think of yourselves as a single unit takes time and practice, but it leads to a happier, more peaceful home. Remember that you are not in competition with your husband, and even though you have children to deal with, he still wants to feel that he is top man in your affection. The children will one day leave home, but he won't!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:53 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • I'm sorry but you a mother of a 2 month old and 3 year and you should be home with them at all times. Partying or going out like your single are over. You made that decision and now you have to live up to it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Nap when your kids are napping.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • OP here: It was a belated birthday celebration and the first time I've gone "out" in like 6 months and every mama deserves time away with friends. The topic of conversation for a good half hour was my daughter's birthday party that went on earlier that day! I've never been the type to go out and "party", if you knew me you'd know how much of a rarity it is to leave. And I forgot to write he had a friend over to watch the UFC fight and both kids were in bed sleeping the whole time I was gone! So really? REALLY? How bad is it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Feb. 8, 2010