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I am being slapped in the face with hubbys up coming deployment and am falling apart, I have no one to talk to about it and I have no idea how to cope, get through I can't even grasp making it and it hasnt even started yet! HELP???

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KSummers

Asked by KSummers at 2:41 PM on Feb. 8, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • get in touch with the FRG in the area so you can talk to other people in your shoes
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 2:43 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • You probably need to talk to other wives that have been there and gone through it. Nothing is going to make it easy, but sometimes others can make it easier.
    AngelaKeeling

    Answer by AngelaKeeling at 2:51 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • my hubby has deployed twice. we were dating the firt time and married the seond. honey you are gong to hjave to get used to it. is part of being a military wive. is hard but it will be alot harder if you dont get used to the idea. nothing will make it easy but having support and friends will, also try niot to show your dh how worry you are. he has enough to think about. be strong. do you live on post or close by? if you do joing mommy groups talk to otehr wives.
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 3:14 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • No I am NOT going to get used to this! He is guard not active full time I do not have support or friends. I am isolated out in the country and no where near a base. His unit is scattered in 3 states so there just isnt anyone to talk to and even if there was none of us know each other except the small group that do live by base. When he returns he only has one year left and will NOT re-up. He has already been gone most of the last year and now will leave again another year. They tell you right off to not try to be strong for your hubby and show nothing because it is just a lie and the old school way of thinking and looking at wives role. How can anyone "get used to" being apart from their spouse? I didnt sign this contract, I wasn't asked if I wanted this, and I am doing my best to be strong by looking for real answers and just faking that everything is ok is just a lie.
    KSummers

    Answer by KSummers at 3:37 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • He is also a tech type and will not be getting shot at both by mos and deployment location. The FRG leader just started like last week and is nice and young and doesnt really know how to help anyone-yet. I just am looking for some practical coping ideas that I can try to apply as my situation allows. The hardest thing for me is that I have lost one best friend to death and one to the military (off and on) in the last year. I am not on base with other wives, services available, or many options. I am trying to run a farm, finish remodeling my house and be a single parent with not one person I can talk to on any regular basis that is in something close to my situation. SO that being said can you share some things with me that I can try to do "on my own" because I am very much so in so many ways. I am afraid I may loose my mind before this is over and want to make it to the other side and leave the military part of my life behind
    KSummers

    Answer by KSummers at 3:46 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • You have to be able to breathe...and understand that it is not the time apart that throws you into depression, it is the mental instability that has you second guessing everything. My husband leaves in 2 1/2 weeks for the start of his second deployment. I know that as long as I try to remain sane I will be ok. I know that it is all the what if's that can make you crazy.
    jlwill

    Answer by jlwill at 8:35 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

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