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I never understood how you can fall out of love.........

I'm been married for many years and no understand it. Living with someone that isn't an equal partner in a marriage isn't worth it anymore. I wish I had no bills and had enough money saved to divorce him and find something for my daughter and I. I hope I can get my bills gone by September and leave before my anniversary in November. I feel so lost sometimes, since I hate going home when he's home. I only love being home when my daughter is home. If he could be responsible and care for my daughter, the right way would also help. I hate when she leaves for school without her hair brushed, or without her teeth brushed and he not caring. What's wrong with men like this?? Irresponsibile and careless................

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Feb. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I've been divorced three times and looking back I think to myself, I didn't just "fall out of love" with them; it was their behavior that killed any love I ever had for them, they killed it, it didn't just die by itself. I am sorry for the situation you are in. Life is too short to live in a situation where you are not happy. I have no answers for you, but just take it one day at a time, keep focused on what you want to do, take it step by step until you have accomplished your goal. Seek help at any and all of your family services offices, shelters, etc - something will come through for you.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 4:57 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • is he abusive? have you tried to get him to pull his weight?
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 5:07 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • "not an equal partnership" "what is wrong with men like this"..... did he change or was he always like this and you changed?


    You have to be very honest... did you choose poorly or did something change in the marriage?


    If you choose poorly then it is NOT his fault... you chose to marry him. You can look in the mirror say "I made a mistake, and I will take responsibility to fix that mistake." But you can not blame him.


    If something changed... then with work perhaps you can save the marriage. If it can change it can change back. Work to find what you use to have together. Try to put your frustrations a side and work as a team. If need be seek counseling alone, work on yourself, and see if he will come with or if he will start to change as you do. Act as if... and the feelings will follow.


     

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • 1. You never loved them to begin with.

    2. Their bad behaviours, abuse, or whatever negative problem they had killed the love. It's not that you fell out of love, it's that they murdered it.

    Move in with your parents, a family member, a friend, a neighbor .. Get out of the situation if you don't want to be in it. There are options. Just find proper resources and get out.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:19 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • i was in a relationship like that with my son's father. I only wish i would have left sooner! I was soooo worried about leaving for the exact same reasons...BILLS! I didnt want my credit to be ruined and i was afraid i would fall behind on a payment or something. I finally just got tired of his abusiveness and said Fuc* it all. I felt so free once i left. I went to my moms for a while. I quit paying all my bills except for the ones that mattered. I didnt need credit. I chose to be happy for my sanity and for my son's sake instead of being tied down to his father with all the drama. If you are that unhappy then just drop it all and leave. Thats what i did. Now i'm married and of course my credit sucks but my husband has great credit so i dont need it. My life is wonderful and drama free
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • i dont believe in divorcing because you "fall out of love" if he is neglectful, etc, he (and you) need to get counseling before anything else. you should try to salvage the marriage before you jump out of it. he needs to learn to grow up, and sometimes it takes OUTSIDE help for a man to do that.
    missbreezy214

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 6:55 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

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