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How can I calm my almost 3 yr. old son down?

My son will be 3 in May and for the past year he's gotten completely out of control. I can't take him anywhere I'm scared to put him in daycare or anything because he's so violent, doesn't listen and he's so insanely loud.
His dad has been in Iraq for a few months now and he recently became a big brother (about 4 months ago) which I'm sure some would use as the excuse of why he's acting so ridiculously but I don't know. Whenever someone new comes over he pretty much goes insane and I can see in their face that they want to leave as soon as possible to get the ringing out of their ears. He gets into literally everything I yell at him about the minute I walk out of the room. I wish I was exaggerating! If he sits still for maybe 30 minutes he has to jump up and scream and run around. I can't take him anywhere hardly because he is too loud and active so we're stuck in the house a lot. My nerves are shot and I've run out of ideas

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Asked by Jstneed2hide at 7:12 PM on Feb. 8, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • He needs to have consequences for not following directions, and give him activities that will take energy but aren;t destructive. Also you may want to have him tested for autism or adhd.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 7:17 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • I guess he's acting out because of his dad leaving and the new addition to the family. I would just try to cuddle and hold him whenever you have free time. Giving him quality time would probably help. Maybe reading to him or letting him watch some TV shows hes interested in. I put on videos from Playhouse Disney a lot. I also have a three year old son. You might do all this stuff ...I dont know. I was just thinking of some stuff that mellows my son out.

    Answer by MichaelsMomm122 at 7:20 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • OMG Know where your coming from. Got a 3yr old son and a 5mo old. He acts the same way. Time out has really been working for us. I let him take a bath when he gets really crazy..helps him wear out some of his energy. Nap time has become a must I let him lay down with a movie and the first time he gets up the movie goes off.. still working on that but he's getting it. At the store I give him options... As if he's good he can stay up a little longer, he can have a candy, a extra cup of juice, a movie at bedtime etc. And remember most of it is age... it's hard but will get better.. hope some of that helps.... if you want some more little ideas just message me!!

    Answer by johnston0609 at 7:23 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • I plan to get him tested for adhd I'm pretty sure he doesn't have autism. He interacts with people but he just wants everyones attention. He gets put in time out when he does bad things but the kid spends half of his day stuck in a corner cause as soon as I let him up he's messing with something else I've told him a thousand times to leave alone. I try and draw and color with him but he has pretty serious "mine" syndrome. I try to involve him in everyday cleaning or whatever but he gets violent and starts throwing things. Basically if I'm not sitting with him giving him my full attention he's insane.

    Answer by Jstneed2hide at 7:24 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • You say you're stuck in the house most of the time... Do you think that maybe some MORE exercise would help? I'm sure you're a little embarrassed to be seen with a little hellion, but maybe if he has a chance to get rid of some of that excess energy, he'd be a little calmer. Do you have a park or playground he can go to and just run around for a while?

    I'm sorry, I really have no experience with this, so I'm just throwing something out there... Good luck!

    Answer by Anouck at 7:32 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • I can put in some movies and turn on some shows and get him to sit down for an hour at the very most and I sit beside him. His sister sleeps pretty much all day so he spends the most time with me. I have made it a point to not leave him out of as much as I can. He doesn't understand the bribing method giving him options never works and trust me I try!! He takes a nap during the day for about 2 hours. I don't give him any soda and he rarely ever has candy of any sort. He's been drinking water more than anything recently. He talks to his dad over skype sometimes but half the time he shows no real interest in talking to him. I'm sure that he misses him though but this seems like it isn't going to be magically fixed when his dad gets home. His dad has been diagnosed with ADHD and I have been diagnosed with ADD so I guess he's kind of doomed but I'm just hoping someone knows some herbal things or other ideas

    Answer by Jstneed2hide at 7:36 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • His father and i used to take him to the park a lot for walks and to play but it's like he seriously has enough energy to cover a whole football team throughout the whole season lol. Right now it's too cold and he has a cough which seems to get worse in the cold so I don't have a choice about keeping him inside at the moment. But I'll give it another try when the weather gets a little warmer.

    Answer by Jstneed2hide at 7:40 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • if all he want's is attention then don't give it to him if he's misbehaving. he sound's exactly like my nephew! i put him on the couch for time out & ignore him for the 2 minutes. if he get's up put him back on the couch! turning the t.v off help's... we think he has adhd too. he doesn't understand bribes either :( if i say: you can play if you are gonna be good, are you gonna be good? it's usually a NO hah.

    Answer by LoveKillsSlowly at 8:03 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • My oldest son was like this. He would through himself on the floor, into walls push, hit etc. He was in a large daycare and I found out that he dosnt like all the noise and commotion. He is also in a couple groups at school now to better manage his feeling etc. My second son tends to be loud and obnoxious sometimes. If my children are being naughty or not listening, they have the choice to sit in the corner until I tell them that they can come out and play again, or they have to go and sit in their room by themselves. They always chose the corner :) If your child like something in particular, like cleaning, give him a job to do. Get him a swiffer or something. You need to be creative. GIVE REWARDS when hes being good, and try to calmly tell him how you feel when he is being naughty :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • guuuuurl, you gotta get you some tranquilizer darts and coffee! lol jk. I don't think he has autism, but he's seriously going through some things right now, cuz jason and alex... his world changed big time.. but a 2 year old can't quite spit his feelings out verbally, so maybe he IS acting out in violence?? hmm.. i never thought of that before.. cafemom is AWSOME! oh! and taking him out in the back yard with the swing set when he gets over his cold is a really good idea too.. he could go crazy in that yard! and he would learn what an outside voice is compared to the "inside voice."

    Answer by NikkiNehring at 10:09 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

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