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How discipline a problem child

Okay moms I need help here. I have a 5 yr old that insists on acting like a mannerless brat. She was/is not raised to be this way but chooses to be. She is constantly getting into trouble at school for her mouth and not staying seated. I have tried LOTS of different things with her but nothing seems to phase her. (i.e. sitting in her room, writing sentences, no playtime, and corporal punishment) She has even told the teacher that she was a "hateful witch" out of nowhere. WTH? We do not talk this way!

If anyone has any answers I am OPEN OPEN OPEN. I need help because I am at my wits end. Negative or positive she seems to like the attention.

Answer Question
 
elatedmomma

Asked by elatedmomma at 8:49 PM on Feb. 8, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • whew you have your hands full, I dont even know for sure what to suggest. has anything happened that might have set her off?
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:53 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • you said you have tried spanking her, so i would just ground her....literally until she breaks! sooner or later she will have to realize that she is not the boss. i would allow her to go to school, but ask the teacher that she not be allowed to go out at recess. when she got home, it would be homework, dinner, bath and bed with nothing in between, take all toys, tvs, games, etc out of her room. and see how bored she gets. let her know that you love her very much and that she should not behave that way, and let her know that when she behaves she can get off of punishment and get her stuff back. my DD is the same age and is not really a problem but when she doesnt listen in school she comes home and has to lie in bed until time for homework , dinner, and bed, and she always apologizes and acts right afterwards.
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 8:57 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Find out what's going on with her. WHY is she behaving in this manner? She may have ADHD, which is contributing to her unwillingness to stay in her seat.

    I say spank her. She needs a good spanking.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Technically, as a parent you only have to give her necessities: food, clothing, and shelter. Take EVERYTHING out of her room. Bed, dresser, toys, TV, etc. She can sleep on the floor with a pillow and a blanket and nothing else in her room. Take the door off of the door frame. She can earn these things back. She has to know that YOU are the boss and you will NOT tolerate this kind of behavior.

    I agree with the PP who said that she should do school (no recess) homework, dinner, bath, then bed. NOTHING extra. Make her life as BORING as possible, and let her know that she has the chance to earn back some of her possessions.
    christaberk

    Answer by christaberk at 9:01 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • I appreciate all the answers thus far. In response to the second person to answer I will try some of the things you have said. I have taken things away and she does have to stay in her room with no tv, no communication, and no ammenities but as far as I can tell there is no reaction.

    In response to the third answer I have taken her to a psycholgist and she was not diagnosed with anything and acted like a perfect angel with them. I talk with her about WHY she acts this way and she says because "she wants to." I am not a pushover by any means and she is disciplined in a physical manner but that only goes so far.
    elatedmomma

    Answer by elatedmomma at 9:08 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • christaberk err she is a 5 year old. that kind of punishment is really geared more towards an older child.

    as far as school too, i have to wonder what might be going on at school. maybe she is bored?
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:10 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • don't listen to the BS of the other post saying your child has ADHD...read the book "discipline without distress" by judy arnall...honestly all the punishments you have used are causing your child to do the opposite of what you want
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • Hmmm...i am causing this? What other punishments are there. Clue me in on this book
    elatedmomma

    Answer by elatedmomma at 9:54 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • There's obviously a reason that she's doing what she's doing. Is this a sudden change from prior behavior? Has something in her environment changed? Any medication changes? Personally, I'd try to stick with the positive things she's doing right...catch 'em being good. Have you or her teacher tried a good behavior chart? (e.g., basically she would get a token for any such good behavior she does. When she collects enough tokens she can turn in for something such as a couple minutes of free time or whatever else would be rewarding to her.) 

    momsc

    Answer by momsc at 10:28 PM on Feb. 8, 2010

  • wow... are you writing about my daughter??? because they sound exactly the same! mine does the same things, and she also has a major problem with lying as well. she told her dad and stepmom that my husband choked her, and got DHS all involved, for absolutely NOTHING, and at school, she does stuff and blames a boy that sits beside her. she has cut 3 pair of jeans, a shirt and jacket in class, and keeps blaming it on the boy. she constantly will try to play both sets of parents against each other. she is totally manipulative, and NOTHING seems to work. the only way she will even kinda behave is if we are constantly hard on her if we let up at all, she starts acting up again. i feel so bad being so harsh on her but i dont know what to do either! good luck with your daughter. i feel for you!
    summergirl618

    Answer by summergirl618 at 5:07 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

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