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do you feel that marriage should be forever?

do you feel that marriage is an agreement between two people that can be changed later if things are not working or should it be a lifetime committment no matter what? under what conditions would you consider divorce? do you feel marriage is necessary for a long term relationship? and if so, why?

sorry...that was a lot of questions

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LoriaAnn

Asked by LoriaAnn at 12:04 AM on Feb. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,028 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • The only reason to seek a divorce to me is if my husband abandons the family or abuses me. since those things are not gonna happpen, LOL then marriage is for good for me.

    I think women who sell out in a long term relationship wihtout the commitment and security of marriage are a tad foolish. that is just how i feel .
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 12:06 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • In a perfect world, 2 adults would fall in love, get to know each other first - then decide that they want to be together for the rest of their lives. Then have children if they wish. To me, that is what those vows mean. To death do you part. For Better for worse, In sickness and in health. Otherwise, why would you say those vows if it wasn't for the rest of your life?

    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:10 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I believe it's a lifetime commitment, but it's one that we both have to make and be willing to keep. If we're abandoned by our partner or in an abusive situation (whether it's drugs, physical, repeat adultery, etc), then I would get divorced. But, it's not something to rush into lightly, or as a "first option" to a marriage problem - again, except in dangerous situations.

    While I do believe that you can make a lifetime commitment without being legally married, I don't understand why someone wouldn't want to be willing to stand up before God (if the believe), their friends and family, and their society as a whole (by the fact that it's legally binding) to promise to spend your life with this person. People say "what's the big deal, I know what's in our hearts, why get married" - but I think "what's the big deal, if you know what's in your heart, why NOT get married and proclaim it officially?

    kwim?
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:10 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • ^^^ I agree with PP, unless vows were broken I would never seek divorce. I was crazy in love with my hubby when I married and I love him today more than I ever did.
    IMO it is easier to be somebody's whore than to be a wife! JMO!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I do think its a life time life-time commitment.. however If one spouse cheats, or there is abuse.. If counseling doesn't work & the person who cheated or is abusive refuses to change Divorce is necessary.. God will forgive you.. however I do think it should be thought out carefully, trying everything else first counseling, separation.. I have been divorced twice the first time was Not my choice, but my ex husbands choice the second divorce I was unhappy & he was verbally, sexually abusive divorce is not fun at all
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 12:11 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Marriage is a covenant relationship with two people and should be for forever. Sadly it does not always happen that way due to choices made along the way.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 12:13 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • cont

    Besides, if you loved that person, why wouldn't you want to take the steps needed to ensure that this person is your legal next of kin, to protect your family, your assets, etc? Yes, you can take other legal steps - contracts, wills, etc, to ensure that, but honestly, if you're willing to go to those lengths, then why not take the simple step of getting married?

    If you're not willing to take that step, that says to me that deep down, you really aren't sure that this is the person you want to spend your life with - either because you don't believe in divorce, or because you don't want to have to go through the hassle of one later, and want to leave yourself an easy "out" when the relationship goes bad (and that you expect it will...)

    Hope that makes sense.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:15 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • do you feel that marriage should be forever?
    In most cases, Yes.

    do you feel that marriage is an agreement between two people that can be changed later if things are not working or should it be a lifetime commitment no matter what?
    I think that "because things changed" is a lousy excuse. things change. that's the world we live in. You should try counseling, exploring new things, a change of lifestyle, change of jobs, whatever it takes to show your partner you're in it for life. THEN if things still don't work out, after all other things are exhausted ...well, then it's time to throw in the towel.

    under what conditions would you consider divorce?
    if counseling and all other things did not work, or if my life or my childrens lives were endangered by remaining in the relationship.

    do you feel marriage is necessary for a long term relationship?
    No.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:17 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • 1
    I don't like to proclaim "shoulds" for other people, but I hope mine will be, and I am convinced it will be.

    2
    I expect things to change during my lifetime, if that change includes obstacles in my marriage, I will take steps to overcome them. I will put my marriage above careers, money, etc (I think that is a major pitfall in other relationships I have seen).

    under what conditions would you consider divorce?
    If my life or my childrens lives (or wellbeing) were endangered by remaining in the relationship. I definitely don't see that ever happening in our marriage. But if somehow DH went completely insane and suddenly physical or sexual abuse became a factor, I would leave in a heartbeat.

    do you feel marriage is necessary for a long term relationship?
    No. Different love takes different forms, and sometimes people are in long-term relationships that aren't meant to be marriages but also....
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 12:27 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • sometimes marriages are based in law or the church and that does NOT make them less committed or invested as sailormom asserts.

    My parents have been married for 30 years. I rarely witnessed a fight. I witnessed lots of kissing, hugging, dancing, and loving remarks (and still do). There have never been an extra-marital affairs or serious trust breeches or anything like that. Yet, they never felt the need to go to the courthouse and sign papers. It is what it is. They didn't need to stand up and proclaim anything to anyone or prove anything. Sometimes those that shout it the loudest are those that mean it the least.


    I'm also not married. Why? The same reasons sort of. We are going to get married, but I want it to be in California and DH wants our daughter to be a flower girl. I have a serious dislike for Florida and the courthouse would seem so un-romantic to me. We have a will that provides for our daughter.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 12:32 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

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