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Does anyone not aggree with my way of dealing with this?

My kids dads sister gave my daughter ten pounds, when my daughter spent the day with her, her brothers did not want to go as there are issues and ive always suspected the family of favouritism, this has been noticed many times, i split my daughters ten pounds and gave the two boys three pounds each and then my daughter had four pounds, i then text this to my kids aunt, my daughter has shared out the ten pounds with her brothers as she is kind, thankyou for the money, she then text back if they spent time with us they would get the same, i then accused her of blackmail/ or favouritism, and she then accused me of turning the boys against them. And i pointed out no one has turned them against you except yourselves.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:27 AM on Feb. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (30)
  • Yup I disagree. Why did you even say anything outside of thank you? stir the pot for family drama your children dont need. I can understand being upset at the differences in how the children are treated. but i think you went a bit far.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 5:50 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • good job,BRAVO,

    Answer by ilijana at 5:50 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I would not let my DD go to visit them any more. If they want to see your kids tell them to come visit them all at your house. That way you can monitor how they treat all your kids. I would have sent the money back to them.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:00 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • What issues do the boys have with the aunt or vise versa? Have you discussed this all together? Can something be done to solve the problem? And tell the aunt if she gives one of your children something then she's got to give the others something too. She shouldn't treat one better then the rest , even if the rest get a little less but they still should get something. After all they are still her nephews as well. or no one gets anything.

    Answer by incarnita at 8:49 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I disagree with you. Sounds like she just wants to spend time with the kids. If they were there when she handed out the money, they would have recieved an equal share. I think you are making too much out of this.

    My question is was sharing the duaghters idea, or did you tell her to?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • POSTER OF ?, The dads a deadbeat, an abuser of the mum was physically, but now still mentally and emotionally, he fucks around with the visits, him and family never phone to ask how kids are etc , no calls on birthdys and christmas, my daughter when they did go was treated more kindly, the boys ignored or told off for something they hadnt done, his family i also witnessed behaviour such as his dad talking down to his mum, and her being too much of a mouse to stick up for herself, his sister in law telling me she was shoved downstairs while pregnant, [a lot of issues wouldnt you say] he was given court order to see kids as the abuse was directed at me not kids, but i feel the way kids are treated that in itself is emotional abuse of them, and they are turning things around and blaming me from keeping the kids from them, ive pointed out i dont want my kids exposed to their behaviour, and my daughter still wants to go but not bys

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • that sounds like something i would have said. although i think i act before i think things through. it prolly could have been handled differently, but you still should have expressed your feelings, maybe in a different way tho. i also think that it was the right thing to share the money, that i agree with 100%

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • sometimes things are better left unsaid to avoid dealing with people and their shenanigans. i would have jsut said thank you and kept it moving. does the other kids spend time with the family too or just the daughter? the talk about pounds make me miss being in england :(

    Answer by ssnelson26 at 9:37 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I do agree with not allowing the girl to visit. if they cannot treat all the children fairly then they dont need to be ruining the relationship between the sibs

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:39 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I disagree. She was given the money. You had no right or obligation to split it. The boys should spend time with their aunt too. You should not have said anything. It was your daughter's obligation to thank them for the money. Not yours.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 9:39 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

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