Hello! My husband and I have been married for 16 years. I recently engaged in an emotional affair (which I'm not proud of by any means). I didn't realize my feelings could run that deep for someone besides my husband. The other man has ended contact, and I refuse to contact him. I've been to a counselor and have been told that if I was 100% completely happy in my marriage, I would not have sought the attention of another man nor let it happen (the emotional affair). I just find that there is no passion left in our marriage. It's like I'm just going through the motions. More the "fit" than the "feel" at this point. My husband is GREAT with our kids and loves me so much, but I just feel I can't reciprocate his emotions. Not sure if this is a byproduct of the emotional affair, but I'm just not attracted to my husband. I find myself thinking of divorce, but don't want to hurt him. Has anyone ever gone through this?Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 8:13 AM on Feb. 9, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by sati769leigh at 8:20 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
Answer by hostlerak at 8:24 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
Answer by NannyB. at 8:37 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
Your DH does not need counselling for wanting a regular sex life with you. Honey, happiness sometimes takes work and right now you need to stop blaming him for everything and look within yourself. If you are not happy with yourself then you can do something about it. But stop doing what a lot of us women do, not holding ourselves completely accountable for our wrong doing. You said in your original question that you had an emotional affair, then a few post down you basically slammed your husband for wanting to be intimate with you. After 16 years he still sees you as hot and sexy? you need to count your lucky stars. He doesn't need to see a doctor and for you to suggest it is a sign that you are looking to place blame on him for your own bad choice. Show him some love any way you can and stop blaming him for being a normal husband.Â It's lucky he didn't leave you and if you keep blaming him your luck can run out.
Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
I am anon 9:59 sorry if that was harsh but you do need a reality check. DH is a great guy and you don't realize you are blaming him. Honestly if the tables were turned would you have stayed with him. Would you make all the effort that he is making? Men are very sexual in nature and if a therapist is telling you different then you should find another therapist. If the therapist is trying to help you blame your husband, find another therapist. A good therapist will help you see where YOU are responsible and help fix YOU. A good therapist will tell you the nature of both sexes and go from there.
Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Feb. 9, 2010
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