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Can a 13 yr old really know...

that she is a bisexual? My daughter has informed me last night that she is bisexual! I am not sure how to handle this. Not sure what to say to her. Is this a phase? How does one know!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Feb. 9, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • I would maybe talk to her and find out why she thinks this. and explain that young people sometimes get crushes on the same sex but that doesnt mean they are bi-sexual . and that she should give herself time to grow up a little and see where her feelings truly are at. just dont freak on her. LOL
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:16 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I've known I was bisexual since I was about 14. If I can give you any help feel free to message me. It may or may not be a phase, or just curiosity. I am 24 and I'm still equally attracted to men and women. There's something special I find in both. Don't be afraid to ask her (or me!) questions. Be supportive. Above all, make sure she knows you love her the same no matter what.
    paganmom05

    Answer by paganmom05 at 9:17 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • ask her what she thinks being bi sexual means. in most cases they grow out of it and try it once.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 9:19 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I had friends who knew they were gay at 14 and now at around 40-they still are ...nothing changed so I would say it's possible
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:55 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I have this same question, not my dd, but a girl at her middle school. My dd told me this girl has told everyone she is bi and is now asking all the girls to go out with her. I just wonder how a girl this young can decide something like this. I am sure she is confused and just trying to find where she fits in. How can she know she is bi or gay at this age? She shouldn't even be sexual yet, so how does she know this?
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 2:39 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I'm a 16 year old who is bisexual and I've had a g/f for 2 years now. I told my mom I was bisexual in 7th grade, I think I was 12. I knew for sure that I was when I was in 5th grade and I was 10. You just know. Its like being straight. I just have those feelings towards a girl and a boy that you have that you have towards a man.
    jennielynnmwah

    Answer by jennielynnmwah at 9:01 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • and I wanted to add you don't have to be "sexual" to know you have feelings. My mom thought I was doing things with girls when I told her that and she accussed me of all sorts of things I hadnt done.
    jennielynnmwah

    Answer by jennielynnmwah at 9:04 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Of course she can, after puberty we all pretty much know who and what we are attracted to. This is not to say she will still be that little girl you gave birth to, her sexual orientation does not change what kind of person she is. Be there for her, she needs your support now more than ever.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:45 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I do not have a problem with people being bisexual, gay or a lesbian! I, myself, have friends that are! It is just not something that I wanted for my daughter. If this is the decision that she wants to make, I will find a way to accept it. She is my daughter and no matter what she will always be! I will love her no matter what. She has also told me that she was not going to tell me because she did not want me to say that her friend could not stay over or that she could go to her friends house. I am just confused. I did not have my first crush, boyfriend, however you choose to word it until I was at least in 8th grade. She is in 7th. I have tried to talk to her and now she says she does not want to talk about it. I am honestly treating this as though it were a boy! She is not allowed to stay over, nor is her friend allowed to stay over at my house. I would not approve of this if it were a boyfriend! So now she is mad!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I'd tell her to find herself and that I'll love her no matter what. Sometimes 13 yrs old like to rock the boat. Maybe that is what she's doing, testing you with subjects that will have shock value. Just remain calm. She may go on to a new subject next month.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:23 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

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