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we are the gaurdians - but shes still mom... how can i avoid him going to spend spring break with her?

his mom has very little contact with him. they talk on the phone but dont see each other much. when they do see each other - its a mess. he comes back all angry and depressed and crying.... he wants to see him mom...but he is seriously "afraid" of the people she lives with. (one of many reasons why he is with us and not her) i am afraid with spring break coming that SHE will ask to have him for the break. he doesnt like staying in that house with those people..she knows that, but whines to him (8) about how much she misses him etc. (i say - then get your life in order, so he CAN live with you) ... my DH and I really dislike the idea of him going there for break, and summer soon... how can we avoid this? its horrible for him when he comes back "home"...he is in counseling and very sensitive.... ??? help?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Feb. 9, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (11)
  • How can you avoid it? File for sole custody.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Just do not let him go, he may be mad for a while but he will forget about it. Or you could make a fun trip and go and then he wont want to go with her he will want to go on the trip with you.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 11:18 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Could you call her and tell her you have a vacation planned? Could you ask her to come to you to visit? IDK what your custody arrangements are, but I guess if worse comes to worse he could get "sick'? Thanks for being a good step mommy!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:20 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • OP here -

    well we really cant tell her "no". if she wanted to be difficult about it she could.... she just signed a temporary gaurdainship form to us. so if she ever just showed up here - we cant keep him from her.... we would like to file for full custody - but we are afraid she would take him as soon as she found out about it... we have him now - and we dont want to make her mad so she takes him.. i guess if she did we could call child services.... its so sensitive, and stressful... idk what to do. we cant afford a lawyer. ...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • how would you feel if someone took your child away when you were going threw a difficult time in your life? try and look at things threw mom's point of view... also talk to the child's counselor and tell him/her that the breaks are coming up and what is his professional opinion on the child spending time with mom? if child want to go then you should let him.

    twinsnseptember

    Answer by twinsnseptember at 11:55 AM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • get social services involved and get full guardianship. if she is not in a safe environment they will not allow him to visit there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Make some plans!!! Oviously he is not there for a reason. Maybe make soem plans for her to come to him or go some where with you/him. Away from the house.
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 12:38 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • have your husband go to court with proof and have them deceide. If not and you break any visitation set forth you all may end up in legal trouble. Best to be safe than sorry.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 12:52 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • if she hasn't even asked yet you may be worrying for nothing. what is the visitation agreement? does it state that he is to go to her place for vacations?
    If he's afraid, then I'd see what can be done for him not to have to go-
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Hello there.I have been there.I have a 6 yrs old that i have since he was a baby.I have adopted him.His father comes into he life when he want to.I had to stop.Do not come in to his life and live then come back when u want to he s human like u.His mother (my daughter0 try that to but i had to stop that to.They have to grow today.Y would they hurt there child.We did not do that to them i was a single then and know i will keep going.If u need to talk i am here for u i have been doing this for so many yrs know i love kids.

    mommy110107

    Answer by mommy110107 at 6:19 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

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