How do you decide if adoption is right for the child?

You sound like an unbelievably mature 16 year old. The fact that you are actually considering all of your options is amazing to me. There is no sure fire way to figure out what is right for your personal situation. I advise you to pray and pray and pray about this. God will show you what is right for you and your child.

You need to do what you feel is best. There are many good famileys out there. But as i tell everyone (not to scare you off i was adopted by a great faimiley) I have seen people who got adopted by people who realy abuse them and treat them like slaves. You need to be carful. I would do a private adoption (that is how i was adopted) and make a back ground check a MUST!

how old is your baby?

My heart goes out to you, as I cannot imagine what you must be going through. There are such wonderful groups on Cafemom- Maybe look at some of the groups to get some advice on keeping your baby and finding the help needed to do just that. Also if you are considering adoption go to the birth mom groups. If anyone knows how it feels or what to expect they will give you some insight. There are all kinds of adoption groups. As an adoptive mom I was blessed by adoption. Ours was a private adoption situation. We still communicate, send pictures and updates to our son's birth mom. She will always hold a special place in our hearts!! Please just make a choice you feel is best and right for you and your baby.

keep that joy of life
I go with answer # 1

i have given up 3 kids for adoption. so i consider myself an expert. i did it for the love of the baby not cause of how i would feel not being in my baby's life. we are responsible for providing them with all the best possible and if you can't do it and someone else can let them do that. it will hurt for awhile especially now that you bonded but in time you will feel less pain and you will gain a sense of peace. you can have an open adoption where you can have every other weekend set up for you. you can ask for anything cause you have the prize they want. so don't bend to anything that you are not willing to sacrifice. i settled for just getting pics and phone call up dates.

part 2
they know they are adopted and they are all in the same home together. we recently asked that all their kids and my kids get together as a reunion. people can't see that keeping a baby can be selfish. it takes more love to give a child up then to keep it.it's a great sacrifice. narrow minded people can't see that. i have been there and for me it was easy cause i made the choice long before the birth. pray and the lord will comfort you and bless you so much more then you can believe. plus you are giving someone a great blessing that can't have any. if you need more help email me ok.

Bexi- you asked how do you decide if adoption is right for the child. I wonder what a baby would say about WANTING to loose its Mother. Do people really think that babies want to grow up with genetic strangers? Do babies want to be in a situation that nulifies blood ties?

Please do some reading (booklist >) http://www.americanadoptioncongress.org/recommended_reading.php#emotional
on the adoptee experience- or find adoptees in chatrooms and other adoption forums online (blogs, ect). You'll find that adoptees can have no, some, or much difficulty dealing with being adopted. .I was blessed in adoption with adoptive parents that were abusive. There are NO guarentees that your child will have a better life- simply because you won't be parenting that child..

quote- you can ask for anything cause you have the prize they want.

Thanks- thats such a warm and fuzzy thought to an adoptee. :(

adopteeme you bring a good point...and would love to have my baby grow up with me right at her/his side but giving her/him to another family of better people is better then me struggeling through school, work and everything else im dealing with now. I'll look into some of the adoption agencys around and see what I can find but a private adoption is what im interested in, just because right now I can't handel my baby dosen't mean I want it out of my life. I want my baby to know my name and know what I did was because i love her/him and wanted a better life for her/him.