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Pregnant agian, Parents pressureing to get married a.s.a.p!

I have a 1yr old, and am pregnant agian, my parents are pressureing me to get married before I start showing, they want me to start my family right before God..but I don't think that I want to be with this man forever. I am only 20. My babys father is excited and is pressureing me also. He has no work ethic, no car, we take the bus or our parents take us where we need to go. I can't see myself married to him, I want more out of life. I been with him for 3 years on and off. he used to abuse me..but hasn't in a while..what would you do???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Feb. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • I would get out of that relationship
    "he hasn't abused me in a while" throws up HUGE red flags...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Don't let anyone pressure you into it if you feel it is not right for you right now. Your instincts are probably right.
    justluvinmyson

    Answer by justluvinmyson at 1:03 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Why do you have a baby, much less 2!, with a man you have no intention of staying with??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • If you don't see it working and there is past abuse leave. Figure out how to do it on your own. In allhonesty I bet if you kicked him out and did this on your own you might find you are better able to find money for things like a car.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • then dont get married to him..simple as that! Do let someone else tell you what to do with your life....its your life and you have to deal with the choices that you make...I had 2 kids and wasnt married and everything turned out fine with me....and another thing I dont want to sound mean but if you dont see yourself with this guy then why are you having babies with him...hes going to be in your life for the rest of your life bc of those kids now.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • get out now, you have no intention of staying with him, leave. Sounds like he will be a deadbeat forever, he hasn't changed with the first,,,he won't ever change
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Kinda confused at the whole choice to have a second child....but...dont stay...and dont marry him. You can do bad all by yourself! (sorry tyler perry moment!) but seriously...everyones relationships has ups and downs. just because abuse hasnt happened in awhile doesnt mean it wont again, or that it wont be worse this time around!!! Dont settle, but seriously DONT have more kids with him either, this time when you leave him alone, leave him alone for good!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 1:22 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I was with him for 13 months when I got pregnant with my first...my 2nd I was only with him for 3 weeks..then found out I was pregnant..complete unplanned! I wish I wasn't pregnant with this one. But it's not it's fault. It didn't ask to be here. Does anyone know how far you have to be to have a positive pregnancy test? I heard you have to be 4 weeks? And my baby's father does provide everything she needs. But I'm looking for more in life. I have left him alot through out the 3 yrs becuase I am confused about the relationship and him and his family think I play "games" but it's just that I'm confused. And becuase I'm going to have 2 kids I can't live with my mom and he can't live with his becuase niether familys have room..if I leave him and do this by myself.. I know I can't...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I'm supposed to go back to his house in 4 days..and it seems like whenever I go home, I always have a change of heart and want to leave and stay home where I feel like I belong. But my parents are tired of me going back and forth for almost 3 years. I completely understand that..but now my brother is now in my room and I don't have a room now, so I sleep on the couch..My mom says I need to get my own house..but I have no money to so I feel like my babys fathers house is the only place I can go. I don't know why I can't leave him alone for good. There's always been something that has been pulling me back to him. Maybe it's his jelousy and controllingness that I like becuase I grew up with out a dad and he fulfills that??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Not like a try to push state assistance down anyones throat...but YOUR the type of situation its there for..he needs to be paying child support (atleast he does his part i guess from what youve said), and u need to apply for housing and assistance and get out on your own...you do need to make up your mind. Either stick with him and WORK at it...or LEAVE and let it be!!! you cant just hope around thats not good for you or the kids! You really need to do some major soul searching! Good luck!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 1:52 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

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