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Do you believe love is a choice?

Do you believe falling out of love is a valid reason for divorce? Or do you think if you ever loved someone you an always be happy with them unless they did something to cause unhappiness? like cheating or huge personality changes.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Feb. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I do NOT belive falling "out" of love is a valid reason for divorce. You never stay at the same level of love in a long term relationship. things wax and wane. you wont have that very same "excitiement" possibly for a long time if ever. marriage is built on more thanlove. Hubby has made me miserable this last year. but we are working through it.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:26 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Yes, it is a very valid reason for divorce, no one should have to live life in a loveless marriage. It is not something we choose at will, it just happens just as falling out of love does.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:27 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I think people can grow out of love. If each other are doing their own thing and do not attempt to keep some common ground then yes that is growing apart and I can see it as a valid reason for divorce. Obviously neither partner thought it worth the time to keep the relationship alive. So either do that or separate.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 1:27 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I think you can force yourself to love someone and anyone. The mind is a powerful thing.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 1:29 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I do believe the older a person gets and becomes more realistic about life that the realization that love is a choice sets in. I believe a mature love understands that each and day won't consist of flutters in the belly and real life happens and it can be hard work sometimes to stay together. Two people have to learn to appreciate and respect eachother and then love can last for foever.
    I think that a person or persons that don't understand this can and will get a divorce over feeling that they have fallen out of love...they give up trying and think that there is something better to be found out there...and then they move on just to find out...its all the same. You still end up having to appreciate and respect a person in order make a love last.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:29 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Love is not a choice. However, I don't feel that 'falling out of love' is a reason for divorce. You need to work on it first and then if it still isn't working get a divorce.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 1:30 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I have been married 45 years as of January 30. I can assure you that not all of that time have I had the warm fuzzies for my husband nor has he had them for me. We chose each other, well actually he chose me in that he asked me to marry him when I was 18 years old, but I chose to say "yes". There are absolutely days that you remind yourself that this is the man I chose to spend my life with to be his helpmeet and his completer. You then proceed to do loving deeds even though you may not feel loving, knowing that the feelings will return when I have dealt with whatever is interrupting them on that given day. We are imperfect people, and when we marry, those imperfections start to show themselves. That's when we are called upon to use our strengths to help improve the weaknesses of our mates, knowing full well that tomorrow my own weaknesses will show up, and I will need him to help me. So, yes, love is a choice!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:31 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • There's nothing in the vows that say anything about "til we lose that in-love feeling'
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 1:35 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I got married very young 19,and had 2 kids by the time of 22-thought I loved this man,but by the time of 30/35,knew I wasn't in love with him-just grew apart. some grow together,some don't. I stayed in that marriage till my kids were 17-19,then I left. My ex didn't want to work on it also-he decided to get a girlfriend instead,he asked me for the divorce. I don't think you can force yourself to Love someone,either its there or not. I rather be divoreced then live the rest of my life with a guy I don't love anymore-to me thats torture,like living with your brother.No I rather be single-then unhappy being in that kind of marriage
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • In my case, the other person did change from the first few years I knew him and not for the better. I don't know which personality is his real one but it seems to be the one he is now. I know he's trying to be better, but I have seen and heard way too much from him in regards to how he treated our son the last 3 years that I'm so removed from him emotionally and even physically. I'm divorcing him. I could try the lovey dovey stuff again, as I tried before...but it's not in me anymore. I know that we don't communicate well in regards to big issues, nothing gets resolved and only day-to-day stuff is a 'team' effort. Marriage-wise...we live like friends or roommates. Why stay married if not happy?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

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