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only child

if you have an only child and you don't want anymore or you aren't sure but you are happy with one for now, i'm just curious as to why! I have one child and we werent exactly ttc, and we are financially comfortable with one child. The money issue seems to be the main reason we have an only child. I would love for my son to have a sibling one day....but it seems like SO is happy with one for good. He told me we'll see where time takes us, so maybe one day we'll have another blessing. For right now, i'm on BC. and of course i'm happy to have any child at all! I've always wanted to be a mom

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Feb. 9, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (9)
  • my DS is 4 and will 99% sure be an only
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 3:49 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • It is (in my opinion) incredibly cruel to have only one child, for the child's sake. It's LONELY & I think about when the child is an adult. Who will they have to share lifes joys & woes with? With my daughter, every holiday was super sad & depressing - for me...she didn't know any difference, but to see her opening presents alone, on birthdays alone, halloween trick or treating alone...it was very sad. But more important, my daughter grew up thinking the world revolved around HER & only HER. She has no concept of having to take another person into account. She is incredibly selfish, self centered, & missed out on a sibling/siblings calling her out on her BS. I had siblings who would threaten to tell on me if I did this or did that.... Part of one's social growth & maturity counts on siblings to FIGHT with! Parents hate the fighting, bickering, & jealousy, but these are VITAL for growth/maturity.
    TLALONDE16

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 3:57 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Wow, it's cruel to have only one child, really? I'm sorry, but your child being a self centered brat is a reflection on YOU, not on the fact that she didn't have any siblings. Children can learn social interaction from other kids at school, children of friends, and from adults, as well. YOU failed as a parent, nothing to do with her being an only child.

    I for one think it's a very responsible thing to acknowledge that maybe financially, one child is all you can handle at this point. And some parents just don't want any more, which is perfectly fine too. I have a brother, and we never got along... Now that we're adults, we basically rarely speak. Would either one of us have been worse off being an only child? I don't think so...
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 4:01 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • We have one child, he was the only for a long time for money reasons, then when we got pregnant and lost the baby it turns out I have medical problems and might not be able to concieve agian. I don;t want DS to be an only child. I was, and I was sad and lonely. When all my friends had brothers and sisters to play with and I didn't that suck. And yes I know I could play with my friends but not all the time after it was dark or on snowed in days and rainy days it was just me, and that was lonely. I don't want my son to have that life. I want his life to be more fullfilling. So eventually we will have another baby one way or another.
    EarthMama05

    Answer by EarthMama05 at 4:22 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • My dh and his sister HATED each other growing up; it wasn't until they were both married with children that they eventually were able to have a civil relationship. And there are plently of people on cm who have completely self-centered siblings; go ahead and do a poll.

    Children are individuals; having one will not create a selfish child and having two will not create a loving sibling bond.

    My sister was an adult before I knew she existed, so I essentially grew up as an only child--I turned out fine, thanks.

    Either your child is a congenital sociopath, or you did not do enough to encourage the development of empathy or get her help when you could not do it yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I love my brothers and can't imagine life without them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • My son is an Only and has autism.I don't think he cares that there are no siblings.He'd be self centered anyway,its the way his disorder is manifesting.We lost our first baby and with his autism,I can't imagine dealing with another child. Scary thought actually. my sister and I hated each other.She beat me up all the time.i always wished I was an Only.We still hate one another.
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 7:45 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I am an only child and I am in no way self centered or selfish. The way your child acts and behaves is a reflection of you.
    Janneth

    Answer by Janneth at 8:20 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Our only child will be 12 in a few days and we are blessed to have her! Serious problems in my brain prevented another pregnancy and this one was very risky. She is not self-centered or "bratty". She doesn't get everything she wants, doesn't get our undivided attention all the time, and occasionally gets punished when she needs it.
    plclemo

    Answer by plclemo at 10:11 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

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