Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

girl proposing?

we've been together for almost 2.5 yrs. he wants to get married but is pretty much terrified of proposing and the wedding, well, he'll show up but i better not expect his input on it. stuff like that scares him. i know, i'm lucky. commitment=no prob but everything else he'll hyperventalate about. if im going to get proposed to, it better be one of those, he drops to a knee and she starts crying, moments. well, between his comfort levels and his inability to keep a secret from me, i am pretty sure i am not going to get that. i'll get, "um, i got you a ring. i want to propose to you, so, here it is."

that really makes me feel like i am pressuring him but i'm not. and bless his heart he tries to overcome himself by buying other jewlery trying to throw me off of a surprise but i still don't know how he will pull this off.

i am the surpriser. maybe both of us might enjoy it more if i propose even if it kinda ruins my dream.

Answer Question

Asked by spazlilsister at 5:42 PM on Feb. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • give him his chance, he may shock and surprise you by doing something over the top. Also ask him how he would feel if you proposed to him, he may not like it.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 5:47 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • My husband was the same way. He's not a real emotional kind of guy. He loves me with all his heart and I have no doubts about that, but when it came to the wedding stuff, it was all on me. We had a small intimate outdoor wedding though, and it was beautiful. Not too much planning and I wasn't stressed about it at all. He did propose but it was so funny. He bought me the ring for Christmas, wrapped it in a big box and gave it to me on Christmas Eve. I was just so excited about the ring I didn't pay attention to any proposal, well at first there wasn't one. When I stopped crying he said, by the way, the ring, you know, it means, it's my way, well you know, would ya marry me? It was the sweetest thing in the world and I will never forget it. If you want, give him a little time, or if it feels right, propose to him. I don't think it's weird at all.

    Answer by TarLion at 5:52 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • well, in an argument we had he blew up and told me that he is stressing about it and wished that i could just do it if i wanted it that bad. it killed me because at that time i thought he was just doing it to make me happy because i don't like having a different last name than our son but then he told me that that isn't the case. he is just stressed. i don't want to wait forever for him to pretty much get around to putting a ring on my finger.

    but i keep holding out hoping that he would do that. shock and surprise. but this is the one and only time this could happen to me and if it does turn out to be that all along he isn't planning, he is procrastinating... then ... well, i'll be heartbroken. i don't want to get my hopes up for nothing but i don't want to do it all myself because he can't get over the fact that sometimes love makes you hav feelings.

    Answer by spazlilsister at 5:56 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • What you do is talk with his friends and family and they will help him to get on the ball, that way you get what you want and he gets the help that he needs. If I were your friend I would just grab him and take him ring shopping and then set him up with a reservation at a nice restaurant and a hotel stay and give him directions on how to do it,

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 5:59 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • If you're proposing b/c you think he won't, that might not be the best idea. If you want to do it b/c you really love him, and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, then go for it, if it feels right. Personally, I would rather wait for my SO to ask me. Even though I know I want to marry him, and I know he wants to marry me, I want him to ask me. I want him to take the steps to show me that he loves me and wants to spend his life with me and is willing to do this and this and this in order to make it happen. Kind of old fashioned, I know, but that's me. Doesn't have to be a huge deal, I don't even care if I get a ring, but I do want him to be the one to say "Will you marry me?"

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:59 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • i couldn't even see him really proposing and that annoys me. i could see him taking me to dinner and handing me the ring. getting happy about my reaction and asking if i like it, telling me about other rings he saw, give me the reasoning behind this ring and thn he'd go to the bathroom. he is a nerd.

    i don't want a lot. i just want... emotions. appreciation. something we could tell our son about. something i can tell my friends about. not being able to just say, "well, got my ring..." it isn't about the ring... it's the promise. he thinks cuz he's made that promise that that should count even if he made that promise in his head.

    Answer by spazlilsister at 6:02 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • lol, his friends are the ones pressuring him. his family doesn't really belive in marriage, well, they aren't good at it. that is another thing that messes him up. and... gee, i want you as my friend! my friends live everywhere so they jump him on the computer but none have really attempted to help him... but that is a great idea. i'll see if maybe someone will team up with him to lessen the stress for him...

    i just know how badly he wants to marry me and it breaks my heart. kinda like watching a fish with one fin going in circles. we love eachother to death. i am just sick of everyone just giving up and resorting to calling me his wife even if i am not just because... well, it all aspects, i am. but i still WANT the steps that go before it. i am traditional too. it is so bad that my dad went up to him and said, "here, i know i scare you and i know you have been trying so he're's my blessing." i want to laugh and feel bad.

    Answer by spazlilsister at 6:10 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • oh, and he has asked if i would marry him, pretty much when we first got together. he asks it pretty much every month to make sure i still would. and i guess to make it known he still thinks about it. but i don't like thinking that that counts. he should try to move mountains to get me...but this is a new age where guys don't have to kill a wild boar to impress a suitable girl. but is that ok?

    Answer by spazlilsister at 6:13 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • me and my boyfriend arent into romantic mushy stuff. or at least I'm not. If we decide to get married, I'd rather we just talk about it and let be a decision between the two of us. Instead of some big planned out thing.

    Answer by haydsmom2007 at 10:44 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.