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Meeting with teacher regarding bd behavior next week...looking for some ideas to bring to the meeting that might help him WANT to behave at school.

It's something everyday. Never anything violent or outrageous, but SOMETHING everday...usually talking too much, not staying in his chair, acting up at lunch, acting up in line, and now and then talking back to the teacher...the teacher and we agree that SOMETHING needs to change because we haven't seen any improvement with his behavior this year. My gut tells me he likes any attention he can get and thinks that he knows better than everyone at school. He doesn't really act up at home but he is constantly talking back - not in a mean way so much, just always giving us a "but...." when we tell him to do something. He thinks that the rules don't apply to him...
We feel like we need to bring some ideas to the meeting but we don't where to start....we don't want him to be isolated but he doesn't seem to know how to control himself...any ideas????
by the way, he isn't adhd...he may be "gifted" but we've never had him tested.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Feb. 9, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • Well obviously having him tested needs to be facilitated!

    I feel that sometimes kids simply do not CLICK w/ their teachers... perhaps switching classrooms would be a refreshing change of pace
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 6:15 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • OP HERE
    he had a different teacher last year and it was the same thing....

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Give him a sticker chart, and everyday the teacher can give him a sticker if he follows the rules that you dad and teacher set up to be followed, and if he fills his weekly chart he gets a special treat, time with dad or you etc. You can also do this at home for his behavior there. Give him the attention he wants as reward and just don't anything when he is bad.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:17 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Quit giving him the ability to be the boss. Make it clear to him there are consequences when he say's "but" when you tell him to do something. Example: Don't ask him if he will clean his room, tell him. He's a child and has to live by your rules, if he's not doing that at home, you can't expect him to at school. If anything he will have a lot less respect for teachers if you're letting him be the boss at home, because he has no respect for your or your authority. You need to be consistent, and stick to your word. If he can't behave give him jobs to do, take away his favorite things, or stand him at the wall for an age appropriate time out. You can't let anything slide, once you do he will be right back to the same behavior.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 6:27 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • maybe bored at school and not being chalanged enough? that happens often
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:29 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I would also tell him you will be sitting in his classroom to watch him if he can't behave. Don't just say it though, you will have to carry through...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 6:29 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Sounds like a carbon copy of my son! My guy is in now 2nd grade but he was exactly like that in 1st grade! I found that no punishment, reward system, blood sweat or tears were going to make him do what they needed him to do.... I did have my son tested for both ADHD and gifted..... nope to both..... but by the end of the year, my sons teacher brought around the idea that he was ADHD and we needed to revisit that idea..... No I don't think so..... He is a boy and needs movement and simply because he needs that movement doesn't make him "bad" or AD--- I brought my son after a loooonnnngggg terrible first grade and homeschool him now and I have to say he is a different child. Yes, it's hard some days, but now he is happy and learning and moving all at the same time! I know not everybody can do homeschooling, but I tell ya, it's the best decision I made for him and it surely wasn't my plan!!
    1organicmom

    Answer by 1organicmom at 6:33 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • That pretty much sounds like my son.. Getting in trouble ever day at school for small stuff like talking and messing around!!! I agree about the not clicking with the teacher thing becaused he did great last year and not so much this year and it is a different teacher... I don't know what you could do for him I am struggling with the same thing.. I have found though that we made a chore chart and it took a little time to get use to it but know he has no problem with it and at the end of the week he gets either a rented movie or a choc shake.. At the end of the month if he does good he gets to either go to the movies or out bowling and then to McDonalds with a play land! he is doing a little better but still we are struggling....
    I also have to say that we get him strightened out then I lay off and he gets really bad again.. he is one of those children where you have to stay ontop of the correcting or he gets out of hand..gl!
    randilinn

    Answer by randilinn at 6:54 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Does he do this at home? If the answer is no, then I personally would ask the teacher "how do you plan on handling this?" I have worked as a therapist in schools. From my experiences, hearing from all sides (parents, teachers, and children) and observing....if the child does not truly have these issues at home then it boils down to: What is the teacher's plan? The teacher should be in control of her classroom and your child needs to know she has the ability to redirect him. Of course parents should be supportive of both teacher and child in assisting them to resolve it. But if the issue is between both of them then those are the two people who need to find the solutions. I have suggested, in the past, having both child and teacher to sit down together (with the parent present but in the background) having a meeting of the minds. An informal brainstorming session for those two involved. Suggest that to the teacher.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:12 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • People make plans and find solutions without often inviting feedback from the one person at the center of this - the child. Having child input is important. Also keep in mind some teachers truly "egg" it on. Not deliberately but they don't always handle it in the best way. Teachers are not perfect, they do the best they can, but they get annoyed just like you and me. Imagine what it is like when you get frustrated at home by your little ones and then multiply that by how many children your son's teacher has in her class. So what works for you at home when your child gets a little wound up? Have a few suggestions about what has worked at home. This may help her have some insight into what to try in the classroom.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:16 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

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