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mommas boy?

my husband and i have been together for 6yrs two kids and his mother living on her own and shes getting older and etc.shes becoming blind and fallin and etc but shes not ur typical older anyway she overdrafts her card and lies to my husband and says she dont know how its overdrafted she lies alot and minupulates my husband will admit that to u guys . shes always needing alot of help and my husband and i have been fighting alot over it because there will be times that we have no food and the money will come in and hell be like oh i need to get my mom some food she dont have any im just lookin at him like and uhhh neighter do we and we got 2 kids? she dont pay her bills because she wants to spend her money and she thinks she can always pay it next month and put it off then guess who ends up paying her bills? ....why is my husband payin her shit for her and bailing her out of her own mess when we cant even keep ourselves i overreacting

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:52 AM on Jun. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I once dated a mama's boy, and he is now 23 and still LIVES with his mom. I am afraid that from my expierence I would have to say that they don't change, but I think that maybe is you asked him (calmly) what's going on it might help. I would either offer (if you know her well enough) to come over some time and grocery shop for her/with her (with her money). Offer to go so she can have a break and not have to go to the store. Then you would be able to manage her money w/o having to worry how much of your's she's going to spend down the road.

    Answer by lynenedubbels at 7:31 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • No your not overreacting at all. Try to calmly talk to your husband, that YOUR kids come first and you would hope Grandma would understand that. Good luck.

    Answer by mrschrono at 7:32 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • These are hard times for everyone! Sounds like she is not being responsible at all. I appreciate and respect your husband for wanting to take care of his mom, but He does need to put his wife and kids first on the list. MIL needs to be more responsible and the only way that she will is if he stops giving her what she needs. My big concern is that she will no longer be able to live on her own and will end up in your home. It may be worth...a little less at your house, to keep her in her own home. You should talk to DH about your concerns. Maybe make out a budget of the money that you have coming in, where it goes..bills, food, gas ..etc. And give him the perspective of the lack of funds available to support his mom. Don't be perceived as the bad guy. Tell him "If we had the money, I would not mind at all. We just don't have it to give." good luck

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 8:25 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I'm going to make a suggestion here. I'm not saying you're wrong, because you may not be. But my grandmother had Alzheimers. She used to overdraw her bank acct all the time and swear she wasn't doing it. She would be very irresponsible, but only b/c she was, in her mind, living in the past. Sometimes, she would be looking at an old bank statement b/c she didn't throw stuff away, and she wouldn't know what the date was, so she just figured the statement she was looking at was current. She also was really mean, and had a lot of other problems from it.

    I'm only suggesting this so that you can maybe do some research on Alzheimers, or look up dementia too, and see if maybe she fits some of the symptoms. If she does, your hubby may be able to help her get diagnosed and get some control (thru power of attorney) over her finances to prevent this situation from continuing.


    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:59 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I love mommascoocoo! She always has great answers! I agree with her... but also, maybe your husband can tell her, "look mom, we have a lot of bills to pay so I can only give you this much." Which will be only a very small amount of money that won't even cover 1 bill. If he keeps on bailing her out then she may never learn... so maybe if he only gives a tiny tiny bit?

    Answer by msp12r at 10:43 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • thanks for ur answers see the thing is i tried moving her in my home...i was 9 months pregnant just me and her son moving her stuff in a truck into my home...i told my husband she had to go i didnt care where at the point i could care less if she was homeless...she told all my friend and hers(which shes very known for this) told them i dont take good enough care of my kids and i dont change their diapers like i should and i dont wipe my sons nose all the time and i should have socks on his feet 24/7. he gets to hot with socks on this is florida not ny.....shes said some very harsh things about me when i moved her into my home i feed her i help take care of her and thats her thanks? my kids is all i live for i spend 100.00 in diapers a month but yet

    Answer by ShYmAmA08 at 7:34 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • i dont change my kids like i should lol...shes known to be a shit talker but that still dont make it husband tells me shes not gonna change shes old just to over look it...but see my mom told him one day if he falls asleep on our 2 yr old daughter while shes running by the stairs and gets hurt shes gonna call dcf on him....he blew up and had a huge fit...i understood where my mom was coming from but she went passed the line on that i ended up bitching her out up and down...but he tells me to overlook his mother..and she dont have elmzheimers...shes on probabtion for theft at 63 yrs ill leave it at that

    Answer by ShYmAmA08 at 7:34 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • oh and by the way i got to yappin and forgot to mention she tells everyone im a bad mother check this out she abandoned 2 little girl twins in the hospital because she told the nurse she didnt want girls she only wants boys and to adopt them out she didnt want them...go figure im the bad mother right

    Answer by ShYmAmA08 at 7:36 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • That's serious! Time to cut the cord! Make him choose! How dare he choose his mother over his OWN CHILD who cannot fend for himself. He needs to wake up.

    Answer by Elizabethsmilez at 12:58 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

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