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What is one thing that you wish you knew before you adopted or placed for adoption?

Please specify whether it was thru foster care, domestic infant adoption, kinship care, or Internationally. Thanks!

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doodlebopfan

Asked by doodlebopfan at 9:42 PM on Feb. 9, 2010 in Adoption

Level 20 (9,525 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Before placing for adoption? Nothing. I think I fully investigated the agency, the adoption itself, how it would work, and the parents I had picked out for my child. I dont feel there was anything lacking in what i knew
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:57 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I wish I could have known that my son's parents had no intention of keeping their promises. I knew that open adoption wasn't a legal contract, but I trusted the parents I choose to keep their promises to me and they didn't. I was a just a naive 17 yr old, who believed what those older were wiser and true to their word.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:12 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • DIA---that the adoptive parents would stop sending me updates. If I knew that would happen I would have chose someone else or just maybe not done it at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • During the 8 1/2 years before we adopted, I wish I had known that I would come to see the infertility as a blessing because it was the path that led to my (future) children. I wish I'd known that I would feel that way so I could have avoided going through so much grief and the failed infertility treatments. I would have just rested and waited.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:19 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • Oops - I forgot to specify that our two adoptions were domestic infant adoptions (with special circumstances).
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:20 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • I wish I had known that at 21 I would look at adoption differently at 37.

    As much as I tried to look at the situation back then and I believed at 21 it was the most well thought out decision I could have done.... I think differently at 37.

    I often wonder what kind of life I would have had with my son if I had kept him.

    I could have done it. Instead, I've missed him every day sicne I placed him 17 years ago.
    Kitricia

    Answer by Kitricia at 12:07 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I wish I knew I could have Kept my child even tho the Adoptive Family helped with Some of My bills and things The way I understood it was I have to pay the Money back if I didnt place the child Witch I NEVER asked for anything and even sent it back

    Still upsets me Lavishing me with Gifts and Money SICK!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I wish it didn't have the sigma at the time that it had. That because my husband & I could not have children that we were not less in others eyes. That our daughters didn't hear that we adopted because we couldn't have our own children. They are my daughters in all ways but one. I simply grew them in my heart instead of my belly.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 1:24 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I wish that I had known more about available aid.Not for a lifetime but to help me get skill training and then become self supporting. I help girls find this now through a clinic at our county hospital and the ones that stay in the program become self supporting,tax paying moms.I wish I had known how much my mom intimidated my maternal grandparents Much later I found out they were very upset at loosing their first greatgrandchild but my mom had told them all sorts of stuff about me not really wanting him or responsibility blah blah .So as to not make me feel worse they did not bring it up.They were very wealthy so they would have helped me keep him,I wish I had known just because an agency is a religious agency doesn't mean they really want to "help" the expectant women.They fed us a steady diet of our children would be better off without worthless, slutty us. An hour and a half M-F of "group"..You will believe this.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 3:24 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • Domestic infant and I wish I knew to never come here in the begin with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

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