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I'm 44. My boyfriend is 8 years older and still has a sex drive and now because of discomfort and lack of desire as well as not being able to have orgasams anymore I don't feel like we should even sleep in the same bedroom because all it does is get him turned on when I'm getting nothing. He's going to be mad if I don't try or worse if I fake , but how can I be expected to give him what he wants when my vagina and clitoris burn like hell, my hormones won't let me, and the only way I can get off is in the shower (SELF STIMULATION & TOYS DON'T WORK BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH LUBE & I GUESS MY ESTROGEN LEVELS HAVE DROPPED). My periods have not stopped yet so I can't go on HRT. If I can't get my gyno to agree to at least put me on estrogen cream or suppositories, is it even worth trying to save my relationship, I can give him PLENTY but will get nothing sexually?


Asked by lisaann1213 at 10:51 PM on Feb. 9, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Take black cohosh and eat a serving of good soy (like tofu or edamame) every day. There is no reason for you to not continue enjoying sex for your entire life.

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:57 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • OH honey!! if you truly care about eachother you can work through this. I dont know why your Gyn would not put you on a cream/suppository to help that area of your body

    Answer by sati769leigh at 10:53 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • You can always angle for an higher-strength estrogen based BC pill. I had a co-worker who used that to feel normal when she was mid-forties.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Feb. 9, 2010

  • A strong relationship is built on more than just sex. You need to find out for yourself if your relationship is. Does HE want to break up over this? If he does then your relationship wasn't really that stable to begin with.

    If you have a good health food store near you go in and speak to a knowledgeable staff member about possible homeopathic or natural remedies for your issues.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:18 AM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • I'd ask him how he wants to handle it. I'm starting to go through this myself. I'm in my 50's and SO is 6 yrs younger than me. So far I've managed to keep it going with using KY spray or lubing up with Astroglide. I still have cycles. My doctor put me on progesterone cream not estrogen. I'd certainly talk with my doctor and see what your options are medically speaking. Even without a bf you could feel better if they gave you something. At least you have a choice as to what you want to try to do with your man. My SO would walk in a heartbeat if I gave up sex. Sad but true but I know that about him and did from the get go so I can't say much about it now.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:37 PM on Feb. 10, 2010

  • All I can tell you is that I am 63 years old, married 45 years, and there are obviously some things you don't know.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:44 PM on Feb. 10, 2010